Last Saturday after a youth football game, one of my friends and I took our 11-year-old sons to Hooters for lunch. Both boys knew what Hooters is known for and one of them actively wanted to go while the other didn’t show any outward signs of interest but perhaps he was just good at hiding it. In any case, we had a decent lunch and before leaving our waitress obliged us by taking a picture with the boys.
Days later, I told my sister-in-law about it and her immediate reaction was, “How could you?”
Had I made a mistake … …and encouraged my son to think of women as objects to be gawked at and joked about by men (or boys), or was it just some harmless fun and perhaps I had even gained an insight into where my son on the eve of puberty stands on this issue?
My 11 year boy has reached the age where girls at school are showing interest in him but he is not ready to reciprocate with equal interest in them. The trip to Hooters, I saw, as an opportunity to see how he conducts himself around women. If he drooled and couldn’t take his eyes of the waitress, then that would be an unmistakable cue to me to start preparing another birds and the bees talk. If he acted embarrassed and shy, then that would be a sign that such a pointed talk could wait a bit. So what happened?
Not much at all. After we paid the bill and headed out, my son turned to his friend and said, “That was messed up.”
To be fair, I should also ask myself if I would take my 10-year-old daughter to a place that featured muscular men in tight shorts serving her food. I would have no problem with that. Again, I would be curious as to her level of interest rather than fearful that the trip to spark a heightened awareness of men at a too-early age.
I just don’t see these types of trips as changing anything. Rather, I am sure that my children’s interest in all things sexual is stamped in their DNA somewhere and not subject to rise and fall based on how many boobs they see over a cheeseburger. In fact, in a world where sex is used to sell anything and everything, I don’t think my son saw anything in the restaurant that he couldn’t see on tv, youtube, at the beach, or anywhere else.
I have to say I was surprised how many families I saw eating at tables near us, and nobody seemed to bat an eye at two boys drinking root beer at such an establishment. In the end, I would rather my kids be exposed to such things and see their reaction rather than driving through McDonald’s for yet another Happy Meal in which nothing is gained but a 1,000 extra calories of processed food.
Update: My son told me tonight that he regrets the trip to Hooters. We ran into his football coaches at the restaurant, and they have razzed him about it ever since. “This will take a long time to go away,” he said, adding that “I can see teasing me about it at the next football practice but not three practices later.” I could only tell him, “That’s just what guys do.”
Update II: I have heard so many opinions from readers about this post. Some of you think I am a boneheaded Dad who has put his son on track to become a sex pervert. One of you told me you read the post and immediately took your son out to eat at Hooter’s. As the debate raged, I was thinking that there is one voice we haven’t heard from and that is a Hooter’s waitress. So at my next opportunity, I plan to talk to a Hooter’s waitress or two and ask them what they think about 11 year old boys coming into the restaurant. It might be interesting.
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Wow, I am truly embarrassed by the responses from some of the women! Are you people crazy? Hooters is a family restaurant, just because the women have breasts-and some of them have large breasts (oh for shame!) does not make this restaurant sleazy or tacky or anything bad. It’s a fun restaurant and you people that are trying to make it something sick are obviously you are the ones that are sick in the brain! You people that think this is objectifying women, your nuts, these women love working at Hooters! It’s a great place to work and it’s not about that. How is being proud of your body a bad thing? For God Sake we were born naked!!!Get over yourselves, stop being jealous and insecure! I am a woman in her late fifties that had her day in the sun. I was beautiful and had a beautiful body once, now I’m older, we all get there, if were lucky. Enjoy the beauty around you and stop making problems where there are none!
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A logn time ago a friend proposed the disucssions of nuclear physics and sex are comprable academic disussion with young children. At the time this seemed provocative. Decades later it seems about right.
If the issue of clothes were not made an issue, it would not be an issue.
The update abot the coaches is interesting.
If they are making anissue of it, what were they doing there in the first place.
As a society we are too uptight about too much…
The problem did not seem to by you, the boys or the place.
It seems that the problem is the small minds around you…
to say the truth i can’t find anything wrong with what you did . and i think it’s more of how you reacted and how you treated the waitress cause at the end at such a young age they well follow your lead if you treated the waitress with respect and didn’t call them any bad names and didn’t treat them like sluts they well end understanding that hotters is restaurant and the waitresses are just like any other waitress in any restaurants and wouldn’t look at them in any disrespectful way if you didn’t do it yourself someday they well go a bit older with some friends and they well follow their friends lead which can end up bad heck if they went their with your sister in law things would of end up bad cause she well end teaching them that those girls are sluts in an undirected way
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What did he see at Hooters that he cant see at a local swimming pool ? Why are there so many haters posting? If he was in Europe the girls would be topless at the beach .Right ? It is crazy to see both how much shame religion brings to the table and how those that feel this shame want to put it on others. Boobs are great !!! Everybody knows that . Guys like Boobs!!! Everybody knows that . More than half the population of the world have Boobs. Everybody knows that. There is nothing wrong with Boobs especially the ones at Hooters. Maybe not at 11 years old…… but that boy will have his hands on many and it will be a win-Win for all involved. Get REAL. STOP THE SHAME. LOVE THE BOOBS>
You are ready a sex pervert. It a fact that it the moms who push sex in preteen children and teenagers. You son can show a deep interest in girls and he does with boys without the sex trash. Sex belong in marriage where God put it.
I have a feeling you are a single mom with a son and a daughter. I guest you been have in dept discusses about your son genitals with other women. I how the 10 year girls who in the picture has not been doing any sexual things with him. Your son did not belong at hooters. As adult, I would not go there or have my children there.
Yes you are pushing sex down his throat. Try growing up women and at like a lady and be a good role mole with your son. He was right in what he say, it messed up place. You are sick and get some help.
I pray and hope you have not been sexual abusing him or any other person.
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Pervert for a father. Just went there for himself.
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It is not your job to expose him to things that might “turn him on”, rather, teach him about sexuality then leave him alone! Doesn’t your son have friends his own age he can learn and discover what he likes with? SO, you think, since he’s 11 you should take him to Hooters so he can look at ADULT WOMEN!!!!! He’s 11, he should be interacting with girls his own age. ICK!!!!!!!! ANd, how about teach your son that a nice personality means more than large breasts!!!!! UNFORTUNATELY, you are teaching your son to look at/ have the attitude that Women are a piece of meat! I hope my 11-year-old daughter never meets your son as she is an angel!!!!! She’s beautiful and well-rounded, goofy and nice to everyone, trusting and is SOOOOOOO VERY LOVED by her Mom and Dad! Her Breast size should not be what defines her.
It’s a mentality. Passed on through the generations. As is class and integrity. Hooter’s and establishments are nothing other than trashy.
[…] see, an 11 year old boy got a look at a attractive girl in a tight t-shirt. “Last Saturday after a youth football game, one of my friends and I took our 11-year-old […]
[…] see, an 11 year old boy got a look at a attractive girl in a tight t-shirt. “Last Saturday after a youth football game, one of my friends and I took our 11-year-old sons to […]
I think that its better that Mom or Dad take their children to controversial establishments. First at your son’s age its a bonding moment. It may not seem like it but you are showing your son that you are willing to talk and help him with different social situations. If this is repeated through life when kids are 17 and 18 and the hormones are raging I believe you will have better communication with your children about sex. Also if you don’t drool and stare then your son is learning that you don’t drool and stare.
I don’t think places like Hooters promotes treating women as objects. Most (And I stress most) Hooters are very vigilant about how the patrons act toward the waitresses and hostesses. People that get rowdy or attempt a pass or worse are asked to leave very quickly. The women that work their choose to work their. Have they lowered their standards? That is a matter of opinion.
I applaud you in taking your son to Hooters. The women their show as much as a bikini. Actually they show less.
God, I wish you were my Dad, when I was 11. Seriously though, I don’t know why people get so worked up about Hooters. After all, any man can see more of a woman’s body at the beach. The woman who work at Hooters are there for one reason: to earn a living just like any other waitress. Ok, so maybe some want to be discovered or appear in the annual Hooters calendar, but they certainly are not looking to hook up on any given evening with men there who are throwing down brewskies and wiping hot sauce off their chins. My son is 4, and would I take him to Hooters at that age? No way. Not because the woman are too scantily clad, but being divorced, he may get the wrong idea as to why I’m no longer living in the house with him and his mom. No, son, Dad did not run off with a Hooters girl. Even if I was still married, I would not go there, because at 4 years old, boys think grandma and mom are the best women alive. Certainly, at 11 years old, it is more than fine to take your boys to Hooters to enjoy some good food and get a sense where your boys are at in their development of recognizing the opposite sex. Better yet, in years to come they will hopefully learn from Dad the fine art of flirting, treating a woman with respect and not being intimidated about talking to a pretty woman, who has a sexy outfit on. I mean if an old guy like Dad can talk to a pretty girl and get her to smile, then it should instill some confidence in them. I think some of the bloggers here would want Music videos, TV, movies and other teenagers to shape a young man’s view of the opposite sex. I’d rather leave that in the hands of us fathers.
[…] “Hooters Dad” said it was OK if his daughter was fawned over by a bunch of well endowed men. I should also ask myself if I would take my 10-year-old daughter to a place that featured muscular […]
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I’ve been to Hooters many times … I don’t see a problem with you taking your kids.
I am 38 with no kids. Maybe if I was a father, I would feel differently. When my nephew was 11, I took him to see _American Pie_.
Looking back, I still see nothing wrong with it. My nephew already knew everything at his age, so I wasn’t worried about it “teaching” him anything. The message was pretty moral in the end, so I was happy about that.
And, most importantly, I was there with him.
As a Hooters kitchen employee, I can tell you that there is nothing wrong with taking your son to our restaurant. In the open kitchen I work in we see hundred of families come in on a day to day basis with people from ages 1-100. It’s only your kids OWN personal decision when they find things like a womans breasts or ass to be attractive to them, and taking them to a chicken and beer joint isn’t going to rush or scar or ruin that moment. An 11 year old kid isn’t going to be interested in a 21 year old busty female. It’s just not going to happen. Everyone who is getting on your case about this are uptight, shy, and over religious people.
You took an 11 year old to watch American Pie? I can assure you, I am young enough to be your daughter. But still strongly disagree with that entire idea. Not only for you as an uncle, but as an 11 year old boy, you know he felt uncomfortable, regardless of what he said to you. Imagine watching that movie with your uncle or father at 11 years old? then again, since you don’t see anything wrong, you would probably be okay with it. Glad to hear you don’t have kids of your own. WTF is wrong with you? You knew that movie was based on sex, what would make you think it would be appropriate for an 11 year old? Sounds like you’re a weirdo if you ask me.
[…] Elston – a Virginia resident and former LAT reporter in Orange County – took his 11-year-old son to a Hooters awhile back and wrote it up in his blog. And I, for one (or three, depending on my meds), am […]
Support from Holland for this ‘experiment’! I’ve been to Hooters on several occasions over America and must admit that it is a nice place to sit down have a drink and pretent your watching some football game, especially with friends.
I am not a father, but this rather ‘natural’ way of exposing your boys to reality and at the same moment learn from their reaction and by that their own level of development is a decision I can only support! And lets be honest, how shocking is hooters!?
In Holland you can/will be exposed to even more extreme sexual daily images by just walking through (certain neighborhoods) of a city. These ladies are far less dressed than the woman in Hooters. And don’t believe there is only a red-light district in Amsterdam..
PS: I did not intent to compare woman at Hooters in any way with the ladies of our red light district (or vice versa)
Your an idiot! It’s just not the right thing to do. Do not take your kid to Hooters. It’s sick!
the person that doesn’t understand when and how to use your/you’re calling someone else an idiot.
OH SWEET IRONY!!!!
Glenn, great response. There is a difference between sex and sexual exploitation. There is a difference between being a puritanical prude and being an ethical human being. I think your use of the word ‘gluttony’ is very appropriate. It seems we have become insatiable, self-serving gluttons in every aspect of our lives. Warping the perfectly natural act of sex into something to be bought, sold and consumed like fast food is just one sad consequence of our own vain self absorption. Quaint old concepts like ethics, respect and humanity have gone out the window. I’ve made a point of teaching both my sons the difference between normal, healthy sexual relationships and crass sexual exploitation and abuse. Thankfully they understand the difference, despite the relentless efforts of pornographers and other purveyors of sexual lies to secure their minds, souls and pay cheques.
*sigh* whatever dude…
so many people try to raise their kids, and unfortunately, all they do is FAIL
[…] According to Elston: “If he drooled and couldn’t take his eyes of the waitress, then that would be an unmistakable cue to me to start preparing another birds and the bees talk. If he acted embarrassed and shy, then that would be a sign that such a pointed talk could wait a bit.” […]
I find the whole idea of a restaurant sold on the tits of its staff unpleasant, but I’ll take the word of people on here that this is regarded as acceptable family entertainment. I think I will not be trying to find a restaurant called Dicks ‘n’ Buns to take my 6-year-old to in order to assess his attitude to other men; I hope I’ll be able to see how he reacts to people, male and female, all shapes and sizes, in ordinary life. The idea that sexuality has to come in some particular shape and that a Pretty Girl has to be obeying your requests and wearing that kind of uniform to be regarded as sexually interesting is deeply depressing.
By the time I was 11 I was reading pornography I’d found in bins and copying it out to read to friends (a lot of work in the days before email). I think my parents would have thought I was uninterested in sex. Good idea to think about this but a bit late really.
Your son said it the best when he said it was messed up.
Why did you want to do that to him? You could have had a serious father-son chat about sex (notice you had to call it the birds and the bees – maybe you aren’t as untroubled about sex as you think) instead you took him to a tacky restaurant whose whole marketing hook is based on objectifying the women who work there as an “experiment”. I feel sorry for him. I hope you realise you made a mistake and apologise to him for what you did.
I’d also be interested to know how the parents of your son’s friend feel about you taking him along to a restaurant like that.
This is not a huge deal. My parents took me to hooters when i was 5. People freak out about the stupidest things, and parents shelter their children far more than they did 10-20+ years ago.
Its ridiculous, and its because of said sheltering that their kids are more likely to make mistakes in the future. Act too strictly toward drinking or smoking or drugs at a young age, the more likely they are to drink to much or smoke to much when they are out of your care. Because they dont know how to handle themselves in that situation because you never prepared them.
It was an experiment, i applaud you, its not like this will scar them for life.
Did you attempt to pick a waitress that isn’t the type people generally go to Hooters to see. This woman is obviously more the type of girl who would babysit for you than the eye candy people are expecting. I certainly don’t believe this particular waitress was going to get you the reaction that you were looking for, but if you selected her to make your photo seem more kid friendly, great job.
nope. she was our waitress, simple as that. i didn’t pick her.
Do you think that a waitress that exhibited a bit more sexuality would have gotten a different reaction out of your son? And is this type a waitress a common theme at your local hooters?
i doubt it. if she exhibited more sexuality, then maybe he’d be more embarrassed. but the day is coming when he won’t be embarrassed but intrigued. i just don’t know when exactly that day will be here.
Nothing wrong with it ,my mon and dad never told me nothing about sex or other people at all ,then at 17 i was in the air force and takeing showers with other men ,getting made fun of cause i never new about life,one boy even had to show me how to do my hair so it looked nice .Later in life i took my boy in the show with me to show him how to clean himself ,and then had to do it with the girl because she was jeoules,didnt hurt them at lest they new how to clean the body .but you can tell them all about SEX and they will still make the same mistakes and we alll did.
I have been to Hooters here in Western Washington (Tacoma), Certainly most of the patrons are Men, but there are also women. I feel this is much ado about nothing, and nothing more than middle aged women projecting their insecurities when they see young women, and brow beaten, whipped men falling in line with their wives,lest they would be in the dog house.
Okay, ladies and gentlemen, get over yourselves! It’s HOOTERS! I worked at a Frisco, TX Hooters in 2003, and prior to the restaurant being built, a good portion of the city did not want Hooters to be built, thinking it would bring the wrong type of business into their city. Hooters obviously won and was built!
GET THIS! All those prissy soccer mom’s that were bitching about the possibility of such a “raunchy” establishment being built were some of our best customers! Them and their families!
So what, you can see a cute butt in some tight shorts, and if the chick has knockers, you can see her boobies bounce! No nipple action! Those uniforms are so uncomfortable and not even reveling! I took my 1 year old son to Hooter’s for his 1st birthday dinner, oh no, he’s scarred for life!!! EH, whatever!
It’s hooters, a place for semi good food, sports and pretty girls walking around. You can’t tell me that your children don’t see half skanky dressed girls out in the “real” world at the market, or even your soccer games on Saturday’s. Are you just going to sensor your children from reality forever?!
It’s all what you make of it! Get over yourselves!
I first heard about the article on myfoxphoenix and I have to say I think your idea was bloody freakin brilliant! forget about the flamers! You did what you had to, to find out if it was to premature for your son to get a sex talk. Seriously it could’ve been worse, at least you didn’t sneak him into a strip club. My husband also agrees that it was smart and creative. We’re expecting our first boy within the next couple of weeks and with my husband in the military one of my greatest fears is having to give him the talk, while his dads either deployed or somewhere else. This opened my mind to different ways that I could tell if I needed to even bother with a talk, or if it’s something that could wait til his father got home.. I completely commend you. And obviously it didn’t look like the waitress had a problem with it, otherwise I don’t think she would’ve taken a photo with the kids. 🙂 I am so going to have to bookmark your blog and keep this in my list to frequent quite often. 🙂
Admittedly, I’ve never been to a hooters. But on questions of whether or not it encourages males to objectify women the question can be solved by- Do they have men walking around in short shorts and wifebeater style shirts? Would you be uncomfortable taking your son somewhere with guys wearing hotpants?
Hooters is a crude name for boobs. The outfits are small to encourage leering. You can say it’s a family place all you want- but would you be happy if your daughter worked there? I wouldn’t. And if I wouldn’t want my daughter there, then it probably has some negative impact on how a son would look at and think of a woman.
At the beach- the women there yes are more scantily clad, but they are not scantiliy clad as a means to earn money. They are not there to in essence be bought (if your body gets you a higher tip, you are being bought)
If you work at hooters you are there using your body as part of the means to make money. If you don’t agree, quickly find me an 250 lb plus woman who works at hooters and wears those outfits, and I will believe it doesn’t encourage objectification.
MY point was not that going to HOoter’s was bad, but that a father who does so is vulnerable to anyone with a motive to harm him for whatever reason
I don’t think what you did was wrong. It’s a FAMILY resturant. I’ve worked at Hooters for 4 years. Yes, we wear tight, low cut tank tops, and short shorts, but hey, go to any swimming pool or any public social setting where swimsuits are worn and you will see more skin. It’s not like we are pouring your beer and giving you a lap dance. Seriously.
AND we are not objects. We are waitresses who serve wings and beer! Go to a strip club… Those are the “objects.” Walk down the street, turn on the tv.. etc. You’ll see far more worse than pretty girls in tank top and short shorts. And to clarify one thing: NOT ALL HOOTERS GIRLS HAVE BIG BOOBS! Including me! It’s all based on personality, not how big your boobs are!
I love my job! I’ve been there for 4 years! It’s a family resturant! Get over yourself people! There is nothing wrong with Hooters. My parents come in all the time, especially Trivia night, they love it! We have fun at Hooters and love working there. I’m paying my way through nursing school! It’s not like I’m going to be working there my entire life. As soon as I graduate nursing school, I’m gone. Making an honest living. I’d hate to see what you guys would say if this issue was about prostition or strip clubs.
Grow up!
I know Hooter girls that were strippers. [Well, they said to me that they were strippers, well “exotic dancers.] I would not want my nephew or niece around them.
Worse I have actually seen Lesbian Hooters waitresses physically sexually harass the straight Hooters waitresses (in a Hooters restaurant and in their uniforms while working.) And then the two harassing waitresses intimidated the one harassed. I would not want children seeing that.
Moreover, the only two women I have ever known to be whores, yes, actual prostitutes, were Hooters waitresses (in costume and working while making this known to me). No I would not want children hearing that. No, neither incident was a joke. And no, I did not accept their offers of services.
Now you may foolishly think that that my experience is terribly unusual. But consider the disgusting behavior by a Hooters Corporate Trainer outlined in the Jarman Gray case. To see a copy of the original court petition see The Smoking Gun website, or just Google Jarman Gray and Hooters. There a Corporate Trainer named “Cat” encouraged the waitresses to perform sex acts for money with the customers. I can’t help but note that the Corporate Training VP is named “Kat.” It makes me wonder…… At any rate the Asst. Manager Jarman Gray was fired for objecting. Go ahead, go read the original petition; see what you think.
Now I’m an old man. Though I’ve never participated in any of it, I’ve become aware of worse human behavior. None of this is going to change who I am or damage me or my view of the world. But my opinion is that Hooters sure isn’t a wholesome, “family restaurant” for the kids that the lying Hooters marketing campaign is trying to sell.
I am delighted if this guy’s experiment did not apparently backfire (if in fact it didn’t).
But no Hooter girl can possibly guarantee the behavior of any other Hooter girl. Hell, most decent Hooter girls don’t even minimally know the of colorable things that the other girls do, much less the really awful things that the others do.
So don’t try to tell me all Hooter’s Girls are suitable to be around children.
Strippers are no more an object than you are. They also choose their profession. You should be ashamed, trying to put yourself above another women when you are BOTH in situations based solely on sexuality. Puh-lease.
Please remove me from your blog postings.
are you getting emailed every time someone else posts a comment? I have no idea why that is happening and would love for WordPress to tell me how to shut it off. Sorry.
Perhaps you can also use your email program to identify emails from my blog as spam and they can at least end up where you don’t see them. just a thought.
you can be removed from the blog list by pasting the ink in the email notification marked “manage subscriptions”
then check the correct box
I don’t think there’s much wrong with your experiment. I certainly don’t think it’s problematic for tweens to confront issues of sexuality in a safe, loving environment — which your family seems to be. I do wonder, however, how it is you’re certain your children are straight!
So let’s say he took his son to the beach instead of Hooters where there are a multitude a bikini clad women of every age. I think you’ll all agree that it’s a normal summer family vacation spot. Would you be writing in to tell him what a jerk of a father he is?
I was 17 when I went there for my first time. My parents decided to take me there and I embarrassed my mother I think. When the waitress brought the rest of our food to go she also asked anything else I can get for you? My reply was not unless you can fit in that box.
My mother turned so red I thought she was going to burst. My step-father just started laughing. Overall it was a good time however I still have not ventured back there. The wings ARE good and I am almost 30 now so maybe it is time for another trip to try the wings again.
i think a better gauge would have been taking the son too a pool party with kids his age boys and girls. i feel he would have responded diferently too girls his own age. of course you would have had too view from a far discretely to get an accurate acount of his demeanor around girls. i think being in hooters with dad a friend grandparent an friends dad is far from a real world reaction.
with that said kudos for trying! thats more than most parents do.
i’m no expert parent but i did stay at a holiday inn last night!
I have been taking my son to Hooters since the age of 6, he is now 11. I have yet not to see familys at Hooters. Some of the familys have boys, and some have girls.
Some one wrote to were going to turn your boys in to perverts? So a family taking their daughter is turning them in to lesbians?
I can tell you what most of the ladies at Hooters will say about kids, They treat them better then the guys who come in just to look at womens breast.
I don’t understand what all the press about this is about. My wife and I will keep taking our son to Hooters.
Holy man thats a lot of comments. I saw this article on another site and wanted to check out what you wrote in your own words. I say kudos. I think it’s a very good idea to be up front and honest with your kids once they get to that age. I’m surprised how many people are making such a fuss over this. The hooters waitresses aren’t wearing any less than most the women you see walking around these days. But I would worry about the teasing. He could have the nickname “hooters” until he graduates high school, and possibly college too. lol. I live in Minnesota. Who’d have thought it could be this big of a deal that the whole country would know about it?
I ahve never been, but I live very close to a Hooters. And even my 6 year old nephew goes. And Hooters is a FAMILY resturant. And people that I know work there (girls) do not feel as if they are exposing themselves at all. Just a normal waitressing job.
I consider myself a single mom and had to tell my boys, at the time 11 and 13, about sex because their dads didn’t feel comfortable. We read several books, I took them to the Hall of Health in Berkeley, CA and after watching a video on puberty as a “Right of Passage,” I took them to Hooters for lunch. They had their pictures taken with about half a dozen of the waitresses and they had to promise that when they had boys of their own, they had to do the same thing. I created a new tradition for them. I empowered them to be comfortable with their own bodies and the right way to be respectful of women. It is my belief that when parents try to shield their children from such things, that’s when problems ocurr. When you take the mystery out of things for our kids, you run less of a chance of them “experimenting” or anything of that nature. Good for you and thank you for confirming that I’m not the only one on that elevated road of thinking. Good Job Dad.
Hello, I am a mom. I took my son to Hooters to try the wings when he was 10. We have other family friends that took their 10 year old daughter to Hooters for wings to celebrate good report cards several times. We live in the Eastern part of Washington state. Maybe we are just less uptight 🙂
You didn’t do a bad thing. Good luck to you.
Honestly? I dont think that what you did was wrong and I think that for your son he was kinda mature about how react in that kind of setting. I know plenty of guys who would be droolling as a hooter girl would walk by. Also boys and girls start liking the opposite sex at different ages so I think you still have a couple more years to hold back about the birds and the bees talk.
I, like most of the people here, say go for it. Me, my best friend and my 2 daughters went to Hooters one time for a Mothers Day lunch in Myrtle Beach. It was my kids idea. and we had a great time. They were 13 and 16 at the time and every once in a while we talk about what a good time we had that day and how nice the staff was there.
Leave the man alone, sounds like he has this parenting thing down pretty good.
Oh yeah, and to the genious who posted about how provocative this place is that the waitress put her arms around a stranger’s boys… Look at the picture genious. Her arms appear to be across the backs of their chairs. She doesn’t even sem like she is touching them at all, except maybe her thumb.
Besides, its not unusual to put an arm around a stranger if you agree to take a picture. I work in a hospital and happened to be in the OR department where I was looking at a large computer monitor. I wanted a picuture of it and as a nurse I never met walked by someone I was with asked her to be in the picture with me. She agreed and came right over and put her arm around me. I guess a hospital is a very provocative venue as well.
Ari
Very rarely post to these type of things but I just have to chime in. It is such a rediculous notion that people are making a big deal of this.
First, you stated you went with a friend and his son. Did anyone interview him and make a big issue of him doing it? You saw families there, as did many commenters state that they have taken their kids there. Is anyone blowing that out of proportion?
The only reason anyone made any kind of issue of this is that you posted your thoughts on a blog. How rediculous. Some people just have too much time on their hands and hangers stuck up their butts.
I have never been to Hooters but I’ve glanced through the window a couple of times just to see what the big deal people make of it is all about. Doesn’t seem like anything special. Just girls wearing tank tops instead of a black shirt with a white collar and a hairnet.
Does anyone ever walk down the street in the summer? You see it all the time. Anyone ever visit the beach? You see a hell of a lot more there than anyone in hooters. The only big thing about the restaurant is the name itself. Its JUST a restaurant people!
Good for you for feeling comfortable taking your kid there, and even ok’ing it with your wife. You’d probably be better able to guage his sexual interest by just waiting for summer and taking him… well, just about anywhere.
As a father of 4, including a son just a bit older than yours, I wouldn’t have a problem going to a place like that with them. Too bad they’re not kosher.
Ari
The restaurant may indeed be family friendly once you’re in the door however people are being naive if they don’t realize that the company as a whole bases the vast majority of its marketing scheme around women’s breasts and getting people in the door on that premise. It may be curiousity or it may be sexual appreciation but that INITIAL foot in the door is not likely to be because of an innate love of owls.
If one chooses to support that and make that decision for their kids, then they do but address it for what it is and realize that you are making a choice to introduce your child to a restaurant that markets itself on sexuality.
I wonder if the son’s Dad and all the other supporting parents out there would encourage their 11 year old kids to visit the http://www.Hooters.com website, perhaps pick up a Hooters Girls calendar and check out the Hooters girl of the month? His kid is getting made fun of because his peers associate Hooters with BOOBS. What do YOU think
of when you hear the name?
How do tween girls who are already in a vulnerable self-conscious period of their life feel about themselves when THEY go to Hooters? Or when their (boy)friends do and come home giggling wishing that the girls at their school were hot like that?
Food for thought to all you supporters…
Perhaps Hooters should launch a sister company with the exact same menu, exact same decor and call it Peckers (after woodpeckers of course)! I’m sure the men would support that, right? I’m sure the same Dads would bring their 11 year old girls?
Didn’t think so…
Okay, I think this is an AMAZING idea! and mainly because of all the controversy. HELLO!! parenting is a HUGE EXPERIMENT! No one gets it right!
This blog is so great! thank you for sharing 🙂 Keep up the good work!
Total jerk as a dad, and so are so many responders to this blog congradulating the father. Firstly, how do you think the child, the child, the CHILD, is going to react with daddy there? Secondly, he introduces his 11 year old son to a sexual atmosphere right at an age where children’s sexual curiousity begins. Great start Dad! What a loser, using your child as an “experiment”. Give me a break.I don’t think I would be gawking at boobs had my father had the audacity to take me to Hooters when I could tell he is monitering my every move. But my dad would never take me to Hooters at 11 years old. Instead, he took me to church. And for all you idiots out there with apparently no real upbringing that are touting that it’s no big deal, that sex is ok in this country or that country blaugh, blaugh, blaugh, have you no idea of the abortion rate here? Have you no idea of the rate of single moms that have had sex as a teenager and have no real dad at home to give their child a balanced upbringing? Have you no idea of the AIDS epidemic, ghonnorea, and so many other STD’s? Have you no idea of the thousands of children who never knew their dad? Maybe you’re one of them. maybe you can change it. It all starts with the simple “harmless” little things such as taking you 11 year old to Hooters. I know most of you are labeling me as a prudish killjoy, but I don’t care. You’re wrong, and so was this dad.
Your all idiots. It’s his son, makes it his choice of parenting. If you dont like it tough, bet most of you do things thousands would consider bad as well. Nothing wrong with hooters, last year my friend and i had to do a report on a establishment and we chose hooters. School teacher saw nothing wrong with it, and school rules are strick, so you know that theres nothing wrong with it.
I think what the dad did was perfectly fine. Mainly because he is doing an experiment to see if his boy is at the age whether he is into girls and if he is ready for the talk that all dads have with their boys at that age. In my opinion if you give the talk at the wrong time the boy may not understand what is going on or how to react with what his dad is telling him (or mom). Also, it is no different than him watching a half naked woman on regular t.v. and everyone knows that there is half naked women on t.v., youtube, and video games. If you dare to say that oh I don’t let my kids watch that crap, well think again, they are going to watch it somewhere mainly because you can not keep your eye on your kid 24/7. So parents before you decide to jump done this guys throat just because he is trying to find out if his kid is ready for the talk see what you kid is doing behind your backs and once you find out I think that you would be pretty damn amazed what you find out. Also it is absolutely no different than going to another restaurant.
I actually think it would be a good idea to take him to Hooters on multiple occasions. As he gets used to it and becomes familiar it will teach him to not be awkward around beautiful women. If you’re not a guy I don’t think you can fully understand the benefit of this. A lot of guys lack confidence around beautiful women and then have to spend a great part of their adult life regaining that confidence. Actually most men never do get that confidence, they just stumble through their sexual life miserably. I wish someone had taught me as a child to be confident around beautiful women. It would have saved me a lot of time and effort. I believe it’s a man’s duty to teach this to his son.
I am a 20 year old college student from Oklahoma City. I am a Hooters girl. Some nights there are more families in our restaurant then men, and we have a good time with the children. Not just little boys either- little girls and babies. We have hula hoops, pogo sticks, scooters, and the kids love playing connect four with us. Hooters is not just a place for “perverse men”. We have a fun a friendly/ laid back atmosphere. We sit down and get to know our customers. We talk to them about there days, problems, we laugh with them, swap stories- We make friends. Do you get that kind of service at the Olive Garden? There are children in there all the time and we wear no less than you would see at the mall or movie theatre now days. When I go out I get embarrassed by what women are wearing out these days. So maybe places like Hooters aren’t the problem. It’s the people who have labeled us a bad place. If you have any questions or comments my email is okieatheart89@aol.com. Thanks!
HONESTLY I THINK THE EARLIER THE BETTER AMERICA IS THE ONLY COUNTRY THAT FROWNS UPON NUDITY & SEXUALLITY SPECIFICLY IN A PUBLIC SETTING. IM NOT SAYING GO OUT & HAVE SEX IN PUBLIC BUT RIGHT & WRONG IS DETERMINED BY THE PERSON NOT PEOPLE. SOME PEOPLE THINK 1 WAY WHILE OTHERS THINK ANOTHER. ITS ALWAYS GOING TO BE LIKE THAT. B/C IF WE WERE ALL THE SAME THE WORLD WOULD SUCK & WED ALL BE LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSE DOING THE SAME THING ALL THE TIME. THAT MAY BE TRUE IN SOME WAYS I.E. SLEEP SCHEDULES, DRINKING OR SMOKE HABITS. I HAVE A DAUGHTER & I WOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM TAKING HER TO A BEEFED UP MALE RESTAURANT, OTHER THAN THE FACT I DONT WANT TO BE HIT ON BY BIG MUSCULAR MEN, B/C AT THE END OF THE DAY YOU ARE STILL THEIR GOD/LORD &SAVER/ ALLAH/ BUDDAH/ WHATEVER YOUR RELIGION MAY BE. CHANCES ARE THAT THEY ALREADY KNEW ABOUT SEX & WOMEN MAYBE THEY WERENT DRIVEN TOWARDS PURSUING THOSE THINGS BUT ARE AWARE. I AS A CHILD KNEW WHAT SEX WAS AT THE AGE OF 5. I WOKE UP 1 NIGHT TO GOTO THE BATHROOM & HEARD MY MOTHER RANTING & PANTING. I STUCK MY MOUTH UNDER THE DOOR SO SHED HEAR ME. I ASKED, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” SHE REPLIES WITH, “NOTHING GO BACK TO SLEEP.” SHORTLY AFTER SHE CAME OUT TO TALK TO ME ABOUT IT. & TRIED TO SAY THEY WERE “HUGGING”. MY REACTION IN MY HEAD WAS YEA RIGHT. BUT I REPLIED TO HER WITH OK MOMMY. I THINK LYING TO THEM HAS MORE IMPACT WHEN THEY ASK QUESTIONS & YOU MAKE UP SOME CUTSIE LIE ABOUT IT THAN TAKING THEM TO A HOOTERS OR SOMETHING SIMILIAR. BESIDES FOR ALL YOU KNOW THEY COULD BE GAY…
Mike, I have no idea what you wrote or what any of it means. cheers, bob
Sorry to see them jumping on you Bob for no one has said anything about the friends father and the Grand Parents that were there as it said in the article. Bottom line he is your son, and the rest is history.
no sweat scott. comes with the territory. cheers, bob
I worked at Hooters for awhile and honestly it isn’t as bad as everyone says it is. The Hooters I worked at was “family friendly”. We make balloon animals for the kids and I would play tic-tac-toe with the kids that came there. I think it’s prefectly harmless. I mean really all Hooters is, is another Applebee’s or Buffalo Wild Wings. With everything that the media exposes to kids now-a-days I’m really surprised that people would think it was such a big deal. I don’t think of myself as a bad person or “slutty”, I just needed a job and that’s the place that hired me. You didn’t do anything wrong. =)
so I worked at hooters and I seen kids there all the time and to let you know I let my boys go in to eat and talk to everyone sorry but I think it is okay for them to come in they see more on tv and moves and sometimes at school so have fun
Honestly, I think people are making more of a deal about this then it merits. just because of Hooters’ reputation. Children develop at their own individual pace, boys a little later than girls. I’m a mother of two boys (ages 19 and 25) and as a mother, I was concerned about when and how they each would show signs of interest in the opposite sex. Parents, I think, are just as curious as concerned about sons (and daughters) and personally I don’t see any harm in what was done. I think I would rather have prefered doing something like that then finding raunchy x-rated videos or a Hustler magazine hidden under the bed.
What’s the big deal? its hooters not a strip club. I’m pretty sure the two boys see a lot more sexier stuff outside of hooters. They can’t escape it even if they want to. They are bound to see women walking down the streets wearing things a lot more revealing than what a hooters girl would be wearing. I don’t think the father did anything wrong. C’mon 11 year old boys hide playboys, hustler and porn, if not than most likely their friends do. These kids now a days know a lot more than what parents think. We are not in the “leave it to beaver” days.
you know what’s funny???? is that in europe, sex is no big deal. they are completely open about it, teach sex ed with no parents freaking out, have very low teen pregnancy, and yes, have naked TV (gasp!) but you know what? they treat violence in movies/games the way WE treat sex/nudity in the states. with extreme caution and wariness. perhaps the europeans got it right.
and to all the over reactors, these women work at the restaraunt freely (no chains around their necks that i could tell). and as a woman, i embrace my sexuality, and even bought my husband a subscription to playboy for christmas and heck, even i read it. my children will undoubtedly discover nakedness and sex on their own. i applaud this father for trying to gauge where his son’s thoughts are on sex/women. maybe this boy will see that he can go to his father with any question and not get berated for having impure thoughts.
cheers!
I also took my boys to Hooters. They went on their birthdays. Not a big deal considering they already knew about the place. Before walking in I explained that they had to show those women the respect the would show mom. The sooner they learn not to be pigs about a body the better. Besides, I’ve seen much more at the beach and for the most part don’t care for Hooters atmosphere. Both my boys are way over the hype now and it was a teaching tool!!!!
It’s just a restaurant. Get over it.
Hi, I read about your blog on AOL, and I wanted to let you know from a mom of an 11 yo boy (also 18 yo boy and 7 yo girl) i support you 100%. Hooters may be known for its busty waitresses, but it is also a family restaurant. Sounds like you guys had a great time 🙂
Hooters…overpirced burgers, decent wings, lots of sports on large screen tv’s, beautiful women, (working and dining). Honestly, if we worry about taking children, here, we might as well close the curtains, turn off the tv and raise our children in the dark.
My husband and I have taken our daughter there on several occassions. We have had great service from young women who are kind, and respectful. No biggie, one way or the other… 🙂
Hey just wanted to let you know as a fellow father of a 13 year old son I support you 100% on this. Most parents are not aware of what their childern do or even think, even though they like to think they do. People should relaize this and understand that as parents its our job to teach and attempt to be proactive rather than reactive when possible. Thats why you talk to your childern about drugs, sex and all of those things that parents are hesitant to talk about. I give you props and will be doing the same. I understand that some people may not agree with this but you see more skin at the beach I mean come on people lets grow up and move past the hooters hater stage.
This type of act to bring children to Hooters, I thought was a good
idea. It allows for young boys to see how they act in front of
women. It’s just a reality, they should learn about sexuality at an
early age and to ask anything they want to their mom or dad because
so much about sexuality is not taught. The earlier they learn the
better. Most schools only touch up on the subject in health class,
so living the emotions and asking is so important. Children should
not be afraid to wonder and ask, because sex and sexuality is so
prevalent in today’s society. Growing up afraid will cause children
to be confused about themselves, they should be confident when they
reach the age when they express love and romance towards another.
Good Job Mr. Elston
i agree with you Adam, no one not even my parents had the nerve to sit down with me and have the talk when I was way much younger. I was a bit confused until I was older. So parents and teachers need to sit the kids down at the right age and talk to them about sex, if not they can end up with something they may not want because they don’t understand sex and all the diseases behind it. Seriously parents that are against this dad for taking his kid to hooters then you are just one really stupid freaking parent.
Just wondering, but I assume this has to do primarily with the sexuality of your son, and it makes me wonder, not for any lack of reaction or for any bias, but if it’s really fair to automatically assume your son is and will be heterosexual.
El, good question. Whatever he is, it is stamped in his DNA and one trip to Hooters isn’t going to tip him one way or the other. cheers.
First Off why Jump Down His Throat Over This? Its Hooters not a Strip Club…If you Go To Hooters And ogle The Girls and you say its a place “all about sex” then maybe you should not be allowed at hooters…these girls wear more cloths than most TEENAGERS do on a beach..and all this bullshit about the message hooters sends about how guys treat woman…ok if your treating a girl like a sex object because she wears a tank top then your just a pig anyway…for christ sakes these woman are not naked they dont fondle dinner guest what the hell is the big deal? its perfectly ok for people to use tv and video games as babysitters but god forbid a guy brings his jr high school aged son to a hooters…gasp call child welfare..and those people who tip toe around sex and never make their children aware of it are the ones who end up with knocked up 15 year olds…i’m a mom of two GIRLS..ones 7 and the other is 11 and guess what I think I’ll go to hooters this weekend For dinner…
I only have one question. If you think it is wrong for childern to go to Hooters why do you take them to the beach on vacation?????????
I respect you sir. More parents should take this route.
Dad of the year,
Haha ok maybe not, who knows though? I just want to say from a 24 year old mom of two’s perspective that this whole thing is silly. Me and my (ex) husband took both our kids to Hooters on more than one occasion. Their wings are decent, and the atmosphere is always super clean (other than the boobies) but hell, we’ve all had a tit or two in our mouth at one point or another and there’s boobs on TV everynight.
Anyway, best of luck with these maniacs, I think it’s hilarious, it’s not like you took him to a strip club!
Wow, you cannot see that you are exposing your child to what you think is normal and sexually appealing?? Your Dad taught you Playboy is what you should be attracted to women-wise and you are teaching your son this is what he should be attracted too……Why aren’t you taking him to see smart attractive women at a college setting, gay bars to see the other side of sexuality, etc as well? You used him as a sexual experiment to what you see as normal…….why would you want to teach him what you see as sexually attractive when he should be learning it on his own? I think if you are going to expose him to these things as a parent you should be showing him the many other sides of sexuality as well, not just exposing him to women that don’t appreciate themselves enough to work somewhere named after their breasts as a joke…….very concerning…….I feel sorry for your son…..
Anonymous,
You have got a lot of nerve. I am a “smart, attractive, college girl,” actually, a senior in college working towards becoming a nurse practioner. I have to work to put myself through school… I am a Hooter Girl also. I dont know where you get your information so I am just going to call you IGNORANT, because clearly you have NO IDEA what youre talking about. I feel sorry for YOU. WOW.
I think adapting your child to the idea of sex is the best way to go! Children who are sheltered about the understanding of sex will end up learning about it from the wrong person, and possibly in the wrong way. I think it was wise taking your son to Hooters and not making a big deal about it. If you make it the norm and help your son become comfortable with his own sexuality, he will be less intrigued by the idea of sex. I think parents help spark interest in the idea of sex.. Making a big deal about nudity, sex, and their own child’s sexuality! In today’s society they are going to be dealing with this everyday, and at a very young age. It’s important that you help your child accept it and not make a big deal about it. This helps your child look past a situation when they see it on tv or at school. The more you say no or stay away from the idea of sex, the more interested your child will become! You just made it exciting for them..
I actually work at the Hooters he went to and the girl in the picture IS a very smart attractive young lady that attends George Mason, which is 5 minutes down the road from the Fairfax location in a “college setting.” In fact majority of the employees are girls in or just out of college trying to support themselves. We have the widest range customer base come in everyday from gay/lesbian-90 year old couples, kids soccer teams- bachelor parties, rednecks- trustfund babies… we get it all. The father isn’t trying to teach his son what he should think is attractive, but that its ok to come to him with questions he has concerning sex and about women. I would rather a father do that and show his son it is ok to come to him for advice then have him look up sex on the internet and start treating women like they are porn star sluts. Break out of your shell, remove your twisted panties, and give hooters a break… it’s really not that bad.
Wow the customers you describe make it sound like the Star Wars bar. That’s probably interesting for college kids like you, but just maybe that’s not the best for children.
The “trust fund babies” the 30-year-old loafers particularly are probably the most perverted of your “widest range customer base.” People who have never worked for a living are not the best of human beings. There’s usually a reason they don’t work. I know this because I have had to write numerous trusts for the worthless little scum to keep them from wasting all of their parent’s money and to keep the worthless little creeps from harm and from having to pay for the harm they can cause to others. There is always a very serious reason or reasons why they couldn’t be trusted with the money. I definitely would not want them around any children. I definitely would not want children seeing the way many of them behave.
Hell, I wouldn’t trust scum like that around any decent Hooter Girls. Ever heard of Andrew Luster? Ever heard of some dumb college girl marrying one of them only to have trouble collecting child support after the trust fund baby divorces them?
As for college, that only guarantees a very low standard of intelligence, not that a person is fit to be around children. Hell, Ted Bundy graduated from college and even got into law school. And all the girls thought he was good looking until after he bopped them on the head and strangled them. Yep, smart and attractive–must be all you need to know for them to babysit your children. NOT
hi, i read about you on aol and i think your reasoning behind this ordeal is great! as long as you keep it clean… i think you’re a great dad and don’t let anyone but God tell you how to raise your kids. i am very excited to see you involved in your childrens’ live and making efforts to raise them properly. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U took ur eleven year old to Hoosters; and as an experiment of all things. What in the world were u thinking? My father and I go there to watch sports or for a casual lunch but never in my life would he take me there or anywhere for a dumb unnecessary experiment. And on that note he is not at the age to even be close to being interested in sex or anything that would come close to that.
He is a boy who still has his innocence and if u raise him under the right knowledge he should know not to get into that kind of stuff. And yeah in a world where sex is avertised everything, you should be trying to protect him from these things not dangling this kind of things in his face as bait.
That i think is what is wrong with this world parents either don’t look after their children or they do but don’t pay close enough attention. And before u know it ur child or children are getting into porn websites and other inapporiate things.
i seriously would rethink this whole experiment with him. And Also he is getting teased at school about it and all you can tell him is “that is what guys do”. OMG are you so hook on this that you can not support your child. Not to mention this teasing would never have happened if u had been a protective father…… And u had his friend there so I sure his mother loves hearing about all this and not to mention he was also part of your little experiment too. What if he is getting teased because of your little experiment. “SORRY!” doesn’t change or make that situation better. think about this next time u think about making your son an experiment.
I am a HOOTER GIRL. I work almost everyday and I see many children, a variety of ages, come in all the time. We, my fellow Hooter girls and I, do everything we can to make their experience at Hooters extra special. We have hula hoops, balloons, jump ropes, foam bowling pins and other games just for children who come in. We make a point to give women and children a reason to WANT to come back. Hooters to me is really a FAMILY RESTAURANT. We have apparently fallen into a stereotype that is wrong. We have a service focus before every shift and last night, coincidently, was toward the children. We let them press the screen on the computers and let them sling in the order sheets. The other night I was truely touched by a family who brought in their 10 year old son. They had JUST left the hospital where the boy had watched his father die. While he was away in the restroom the family told us the story. We all chipped in and bought him a shirt, wrote encouraging messages on it from each of us and sang to him “You are my sunshine.” He was overjoyed by the time he left, or as happy as he could be given the situation. It literally brought me and my coworkers to tears. I love my job. I personally think you are a great dad. Everyone will always have a different opinion but I feel that those who completely disagree with you should take a trip to their nearest Hooters and see for themselves. We are about great service, great food, and great entertainment.
Hey, I am a Hooters waitress in Alabama & there is nothing wrong with taking your son to eat there! I wait on more families than I do anyone! Also at our Hooters we sing songs & play games with the kids!
One day we were driving past a Hooters, we live in Las Vegas. My son was 9 almost 10, when he blurted out from the back seat, “Hooters! You know I’m a boob man”. I believe this is partly due to have brothers that are 12 & 6 years older than he is. We took him to Hooters restaurant for his 10th birthday and we took his picture with every waitress in the place. We also bought him a calendar and a bumper sticker to put on his guitar case. We took him to show him that it’s really not that big of a deal, I have found that the bigger the deal you make about something the more they want to do it. Talk to them about it and make casual reminders about important issues, but if you belabor a point they tend to zone out, I know that I do! My son is almost 14 now and has never asked to go back again. Chalk it up to life experience. Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s mostly all small stuff!
ive been to hooter a million times when i was younger really dont see the problem its a reasturant not a strip club.
Wow,
After reading your Blog and then all the posts, it is sad to say, that I think you used a once harmless family activity into an experiement with good intentions and leave it to the world to spin it into something you clearly stated its not.
It is sad to say that today our society is doing a great deal to desensitze our young children to sex and taking away theri innosence far before we would like.
Last time I checked there is only one book I know of on how to parent, but each will take what they want or need from it, I often hear that there is no book on how to raise children, that there is no instruction manual, we are all wrong.
I strongly believe that its our roles as a parent to monitor all our childs content and to share with them at age appropriate times certain facts of life, men and women and what we tell them will set a standard of living life we all pray will make them choose the right path.
It is my stong opinion as a mother of a 13 year old son and 3 year old daughter are that what I teach them about sex and what its is about, what to expect and the standards they should have for themselves is crutial.
Sex should be for marriage only, I teach abstenance in my home and my son understands when and why this is so important.That he doesnt want someone who has to try out sex with a large group of people to determine what they want or like, that it is reserved for marriage, both should be virgins and teaching/learning with one another only, it is harmful to have references to sex and whats expected before marriage. You should want to have this intimate relationship with that person you marry and not corrupt it with the views of the world and what it is teaching your children. We are teaching our children to indulge themselves and have a careless attitude towards sex and marriage, that both are disposable and if your not getting what you want you can just move on to the next person ect.
Its a toxic cycle and world we live in, be careful what you teach your children, your the parent and its your role to direct them, share with them and love them unconditionally. I dont bye this philosphy that they are gonna do it no matter what….thats bull, if your supporting what your teaching them and keeping the lines of communication open. I want him to come to me or his dad for his information, not the school or his friends.
Good luck and may this be a huge lesson or sounding board to give you an opportunity to share with your children what is true and right.
so, why is eating a hooters with your kids improper. There are so many things today that you could be doing that would be more harmful to your children. My 13 year old son has been in hooters at least a thousand times, he doesn’t have some warped view of women because of it. As for hooters being known for its busty, scantily clad women, children can easily see the same things at home and should find this to be un-natural. Besided the waitress in the picture is far from busty and I am sure she dealt with your table in a professional manner regardless of what she was wearing or you would have made your complaint and moved on telling her how you did not appreciate her behavior in front of your kid. People put way to much emphasis on stupid things, what you did was within your right as a parent not to mention as you stated a good way to figure out if you son needed “the talk” I applaud you for being that active in his life.
[…] November 12, 2009 by Rain Racer Greetings to those who read my interview in AOL ParentDish and followed the link to my blog. I originally wrote the Hooters post a few weeks ago and it is buried deep in my archives, but I’ll save you the scrolling and put it Here. […]
I am proud of the fact that even though the media has had a wonderful time with this,you have stood your ground on the matter. It is obvious by reading that single posting that you are an intelligent man as evidenced by the analysis of the situation and outcome. You went there with the purpose of finding out how your son would react to women, and correcting any misconceptions that your son could possibly have about that treatment. I say amen to that, because there are so few men out there that view women with respect and actually pass that attribute down to their sons.
I believe people like us are more along the “realist” way of life and raising our children, and because of that our children will grow up independent, respectful, and capable of treating others with integrity. We also will probably be the last parents to end up with an “accidental” grand child at some point due to lack of knowledge. You are an amazing father with no doubt a wonderful wife at your side, I might just have to start tapping into your blog more often for some more proactive ways of raising my children:)
We took our son when he was 2 to Hooters. He is now 4. I saw nothing wrong with the picture. Like you said my husband and I took him over lunch time to grab a bite to eat and the women were not that badly dress. Yes the clothes were a bit tight but you can also take a kid to the beach and see the same if not more skin on a woman.
Well it seems odd to me to take your kids where the food is gross. Go somewhere with good food forget the waitresses….isn’t that what a restaurant is about. If you want to teach him about sex at least do it with GOOD FOOD!
I HRARD YOU ON THE RADIObut did not call in You are a great dad and I HAD NO PROBLEMS WITH HOOTERSbut Ihave to warn you that anyone with a motive to narm you could get you in a lot of trouble by dropping the dime on you with the cops Make sure you know a good lawyer who specializes in child molestation cases and talk with him/her. Find out how trigger-hsppy the local cops and prosecutors are. I lost my job and my careerand a lot of money, althoughI “won” in court
While there are a number of things I find offensive or worrisome about our world today, eating at Hooter’s -with or without your kids- is not one of them. There are so many more important issues to be concerned with. This dad did not take his son to a brothel or a strip club for a lap dance. It was a restaurant that people of all ages enjoy.
Mr. Elston has received criticism about what a terrible, unethical parent with no morals he must be just because of his restaurant choice and a post about it. Although we are all entitled to our opinion, doesn’t this seem to be taking things too far? I hardly think a trip to Hooter’s is bad parenting, as some people seem to believe. If you don’t care for the place, for whatever reason, then don’t go there. But don’t berate a guy for his choice to do so. Save the harsh words for bigger battles, because there are plenty of them out there.
So Bob, I’m curious what you think of all the responses?? It seems that most don’t have a problem with your decision…does that make it right??? Who knows??? What’s your thoughts?
[…] interesting than the visit itself is the subsequent discussion it has produced. Take a look at the blog entry. I’d be interested in hearing your point of view. […]
You have got to be kidding me. People get a grip. Men and women are not the same. Taking boys to Hooters is not going to make them think of women as objects. My Great nephews 1st birthday party was at Hooters – no big deal. It is how you raise the boys and how you treat the women you come in contact with not where you eat that makes the difference. Your sister-in-law needs to get over herself!
Good night, what is all the hype about, the female body is wonderful and why not enjoy the sight of a wonderful woman in a nice place, you see worse on t.v. and just walking down the street. Lets get real this is 2009 not 1909, kids know all about sex anyway, give us a break.
HEY PARENTS:
To each their own, ok? I UNDERSTAND some of you don’t agree with it, that’s fine. But listen to yourselves. Some of you are terrible! Assuming he’s a terrible father because he took his son into a restaurant that has a “KIDS EAT FREE” Sunday special? Hinting that he should take his children to have them tattooed or pierced?
Before my friend suggested I apply at Hooters, I had never before been to the restaurant. “What!! You’ve got to be kidding me!” I said to her. “…Well, I work here.” She replied. This smart, respectable, honors college student worked at Hooters? Well that changed my perspective. Then I went in. I was hired. And I love it. As a formerly painfully shy child with horrible self esteem, this job has been extremely beneficial to me. And I love helping little kids ease out of their shells as well. And our outfits? We ADULTS wear more than YOUR children wear when they’re going about their normal days.
Of my tables, 30% are families, 30% are couples, 20% are groups including women, and 20% are tables of only men. Not what you were expecting, am I right? But you are right. Hooters is not just a restaurant. It’s an experience. People come to have fun. If you want to go to a similarly-priced restaurant and receive the minimum service go to Chilis! At Hooters we are required to greet the table within 30 seconds, bring drinks within 3 minutes, to sit down when we take your order, tell you about our specials, our calendar, check back on your food in “2 bites or 2 minutes!”, to offer specific desert, etc. But we are encouraged to chat with our customers, play games with them, hoola-hoop with their kids, draw funny faces on balloons, dance the YMCA with anyone who wants to join, etc etc.
Bring in your sons! We have flat screen tvs with every sport imaginable as far as the eye can see! We have a full bar for the older sons and some pretty good shakes and smoothies for the youngins! Birthdays are my favorite. “We’re with them” Smiles the adorable young mother who is sitting with her husband, one booth away from an excited looking group of 8th graders. “Make sure you embarrass my son, it’s his birthday!” She giggled.
I return the smile and step over to the boys, who suddenly become quiet. I slide into the booth next to the birthday boy, who is blushing a healthy red by this point. “hey you guys!” I’ll start. When I walk away with their order, I can hear his friends heckling him, “She likes youuuu!” By the end of their stay, I know all about their soccer team, what their favorite ice cream is, and that they want me to come play laser tag with them when my shift is over. What’s wrong with that?
Sure, I’ll occasionally get that creepy dad who brings along his little, equally as rude, mini-me. But they are few and far in between.
So give me your tired, your hungry, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore, send these, the starving, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!
You are a boneheaded pervert! You just think that your child already sees it on tv, but now your child thinks you approve which will set him on the wrong road. BAD DAD!
thanks for the insightful and thoughtful comments, Lisa. much appreciated.
Lisa is obviously insecure with her own femininity.
I really don’t think that a trip to Hooters is even noteworthy, honestly. Myself & my husband go to Hooters – with our 4yr.old son….MANY families dine there, WITH there families.
The point is that at any venue – no matter Hooters or a diner whose waitress is heavily clad with cleavage – your child is respectful. Children feed off of their parents, learning respect as well as manners.
I completely agree with that. I think he is supporting his son to the inapporiate stand of our society today. and also he is too young to know anything close to having to do with the word sex.
I learned about sex when i was in 4th grade… i support the father. people here who disagree are actually bad parents or soon to be. they dont realize what their children see and do in their lives, they need to be more involed with their child. My father had no idea what was going on in my head or what i was exposed to when i was a child. I’m now in college working on becoming a pharmacist. i turned out fine, im not some dimwitted pervert, and i was always exposed to things that related to sex. mostly from friends and television and movies. there is no avoiding it.
I read the story, “Sex ed and a trip to Hooters” in USA Today (edition Oct 21st); never heard of Rain Racer until then. Thought I’d check out his blog and share a funny story of my own with him, since I thought it was cool that he wrote about this and the challenges of parenting these days (let’s talk video games, TV, movies, music videos, the internet, magazines, school peer pressure…). Wow, some of the comments on here are amazing – wish I had more time to read them all. It must be nice knowing what is best for everyone else…but I stray.
I took my five year old daughter to Hooters once when we were on a trip together and MNF was on (about 16 years ago or so). She loved chicken fingers and I loved cold draft beer and the fact they had a “kid-friendly atmosphere,” which any other sports bar at the time wasn’t really offering. Our server sat down with us and colored with her on the placement. Several others stopped by to talk to her during the “pre-finger” moment. Anyway, after we were done eating and our server had cleared the dishes, she turned and looked at me and asked in the way only my little princess could ask, “Daddy, why are these girls wearing clothes that don’t fit and are too small?” and then proceeded to go back to coloring.
I don’t remember exactly what I said to her, but it was something along the lines of getting people in the door (guys mostly) and having a fun, active, bright place they liked to spend their money – all of which I would explain to her today as a brilliant marketing move, where kids can eat chicken fingers and their parents (mostly dads) can watch sports and enjoy the atmosphere. Funny how that was the case 16 years ago and it still works today. She graduates from college in six months with a psychology degree, so maybe I’ll have her look this blog over as a case study!
I love this, all these people are criticizing this guy for his choice to raise his kids the way he sees fit but yet you will be the first ones to get defensive if someone criticizes YOUR choice to raise your kids the way you see fit. Cause how DARE they think they know what is best for YOUR kids, RIGHT?
Kids mature at different rates so who’s to say maybe in his house he and his wife thought his kids could handle it and would see it for what it is, a family going out to lunch at a restaurant.
Sure the women there dress in less clothing than perhaps your 5 star restaurant but don’t even try telling me that other restaurants don’t have their greeters or waitresses wearing perhaps lower cut shirts if nothing else to possibly bring in slightly more business.
Also would like to add the only people here really objectifying these women here are the ones who are on their high horse over this whole thing. You’re the ones using these women to further your politically correct agenda.
Dear Bob,
If you decide to repeat this experiment in a tattoo parlor, your friend Siouxsie recommends that you check out this blog post — http://siouxsielaw.wordpress.com/2009/10/23/so-you-have-decided-to-get-your-kid-tattooed-pierced-or-branded/
Siouxsie
Siouxsie, i’ll keep it in mind.
Do some of you not get it? Just because a girl chooses to work at “Hooters” doesn’t mean she isn’t being objectified…It means she’s choosing to show more of her body so that others can look at her. She’s choosing to work at a place that is specifically marketed to show women’s bodies. It’s a place where men go to “check” girls out. Come on. That is allowing guys to “objectify” women because they are there to stare at, gawk, and lust after. It’s quite simple. It is demeaning. It does not matter that the girls chose to work there…they will and are being used simply for their bodies…not their minds, which all parents MUST teach their kids..Don’t you parents out there want you daughters to be known for the minds over bodies? Stop teaching these demeaning, objectifying activities to our kids and we will see a society not based off of sexuality. Also, the point of going to Hooters has nothing to do with sex. It’s simply so guys can go look at girls (and maybe grab some bad food). Everyone is missing the point. Sure, you can see worse at school, the beach, another restaurant. That’s not the point! It’s that you went to a place specifically marketed like Hooters is. It teaches your kids that its alright to go to a place designed to show off girls bodies, plain and simple. That causes an objectification of women because no one takes the time to get to know them before looking at their boobs, butt and legs. Don’t you get it??
How often do you ‘get to know’ your waitresses before making any kind of judgments?
I get it….It sounds like Mike spent a LOT of time staring at women’s asses & upward back in his day, and never thought any of those women could possibly be as intellectual as himself.
Im going to assume your the sleazy guy that every Hooters Girl hates to wait on because your sitting there staring at her tits the whole time shes taking your order, right? Hooters is not demeaning in in anyway until a customer comes in and treats us that way. We are all respectful smart girls that realized we could earn more money showing off a little bit more skin at Hooters than in a regular waitress uniform that you would still stare and drool at us in. I would know this for a fact because I’ve worked at many other restaurants where guys leave there numbers, flirt shamelessly, and still stare at my backside… atleast im getting a bigger tip where I work now.
I have a 5 year old and a 15 almost 16 year old… BOTH have been to hooters. I won’t lie… Football and awesome wings… WHAT COULD GET BETTER?! I think my youngest was 4 when he went… he was happy because he got cake. I’ll take him again when I go too. I love Hooters. I even went to the grand opening of the first Hooters ever in Singapore when I was in the navy… It was fun, except the only beer they had on tap was Tiger beer… it tastes like dog piss…
As for all the negative comments on this guy taking his kid… ARE YOU SERIOUS?! First off he isn’t OBJECTIFYING the women. THEY AREN’T FORCED TO WORK THERE HELLO! The women don’t see themselves as objects, so how are they objectified? Going to Hooters is far less revealing than going to the beach. At the beach or the pool all you see is girls in skimpy barely there bathing suits and tanning with their tops untied to avoid tan lines. Hooters girls are in shorts and a tank top with nylons on… My 15 year old isn’t damaged by his trips to hooters either. He’s a favorite with his teachers, is in an over seas program studying all over the world, has a 184 IQ, and studies multiple forms of martial arts and languages. I don’t censor him to anything, not even nudity. Ready for this? HE LISTENS TO ME! Amazing right? A teenage boy that actually listens? And here people thought it impossible… Your job as a parent is not to CONTROL your children, it is to guide them. When you shelter your kids they end up in more trouble because once they get that taste of freedom they tend not to be able to control themselves. Going to a stupid restaurant like Hooters is not going to taint your child’s mind. And by the way, as a parent and a nanny, ALL children are uncomfortable around the opposite sex when they are starting to hit puberty. I know grown men who are still uncomfortable around women. Using their being nervous around the women as an excuse is moot. If you are open to your children about life you will have less problems in the future. Also calling this man a failure as a parent is uncalled for. He hasn’t failed at anything. When his son grows up to be a mass murderer, THAT is when you can call him a failure. As for the girls, strippers, Hooters girls, club waitresses, go go dancers, video dancers… they all CHOOSE to do their jobs. No one holds a gun to their heads and forces them. If you want to blame someone for OBJECTIFYING WOMEN, you should look at the girls who CHOOSE to put themselves in jobs such as theirs. They are to blame, not the customers. Bunch of freaking man haters here. You women give awesome women like me a bad name… buzz off somewhere secluded and be forgot about already.
Hi,
I’m a little behind on reading on my newspapers, so err… sorry for the late comment.
I was shocked that people had this reaction to you taking your kids to a Hooters. Shocked because this is my kids (10, 8, 5 – boy boy girl) favorite restaurant.
I travel a lot so I try to take the kids out on the weekends when I am at home. At their ages, they still seem to only eat chicken strips when we go out – which annoys me to no end. I would happily take them out for prime rib, but prior to them discovering Hooters they always wanted to go to McD’s or BK.
After I made the firm policy that I was no longer buying kid’s meals of any sort that came with a toy we bounced around to several other chicken strip serving restaurants before we ended up at Hooters.
To start with:
1. The Hooters menu is basically a kids menu; grilled cheese, wings, chicken strips, burgers, quesadilla, etc.
2. The furniture is fun and durable
3. There are lots of paper towels available
4. The kids can get balloons after they are done
5. The oldest loves sports and doesn’t get to watch much tv at home
6. In Omaha, the Hooters is right next to the Half-Price bookstore and they can usually con me into going over there after we eat.
7. They get to act all shy when the waitresses come over and sit down
So, with the certain knowledge that they can get some chicken they each have started branching out to new sorts of foods. Sure, this might just be a pork sandwich backed up with some medium chicken wings, but with these kids any improvement from the all-chicken-strip diet is progress.
Even in a conservative place like Omaha, they are never the only kids in the place.
I’m not so sure about the sexual-acclimation psycho-babble, but you can justify it however you want, I just use, “That’s where the kids wanted to go” 🙂
One of the best parts of being a dad is the opportunity to share harmlessly inappropriate fun activities with your kids. Whether this is making fountains out of diet coke and mentos, water fights, turning your backyard into an archery range, watching zombie movies together, snowball fights, staying up past bedtime, or just eating at Hooters – these sorts of things are the difference between being a father and being a dad.
The last paragraph you wrote is probably one of the best responses on here . . . well said!
see also “kids,they search the darndest things on the net” on mollycollie.wordpress.com
11 year old boys are going to be curious!
correction to previous mollycollie.wordpress.com for the Victoria Secret piece
Saw the USA Today piece first. LOVED it. See my blog mollycollie@wordpress.com for the blogs about the Case of the missing VS models (Victoria Secret) regarding the experiences with my now almost 14 year old son. I have recently had even more interesting experiences in dealing with the natural curiosity of a boy about to hit puberty. The reactions of people who think you are wrong because you want to be proactive and actually have a conversation with your children about sexuality and the culture we have, are just crazy. My son has a twin sister. I have had to have conversations about sex for a long time. What with the outlandish things that happen in middle school that didn’t when I was in the late 70s. We have no choice. I applaud you being proactive. de-mystifying and heard you on NPR just on accident this week too. Exactly right seeing much more at the pool.
thanks for leaving me your comment and the url to your blog. i’ll definitely give it a look. -bob
I have a 6 month old son and if my Husband EVER did this I would be livid. I’d be almost as disgusted as I am right now reading this blog! Are you going to take him to a strip club when he turns 18 to gage how much he knows about sex?
Seriously dad, you have failed miserably. Could it be that YOU just wanted to go to Hooters? Not only is the food filled with as much sugar and fat as McDees, but you also succeeded in making the prepubescent boys uncomfortable.
Newsflash – The girls in his class are not scantily clad women. They are little girls. If you want to know how your son feels about girls just ask him. Ask him if he has a girlfriend. Ask him if he likes any little girls in his class.
You may as well have flashed him a Playboy spread and asked, “Hey how does this make you feel?”
It would be equally as disgusting if you had a daughter and took her to a male beefcake restaurant. You should ask yourself if you would have taken your daughter to Hooters along with your son. I shudder to think about your answer.
Gosh, I am so disgusted. Just what women need. One more guy gawking at them like a basket of hot wings.
1healthymomandbaby.com
1healthymom,
The fact that you’re making sexuality such a huge taboo for your own children is what is at fault here. Hooters is an innocent restaurant. I’m a college student and I used to go there a lot with my dad after his softball games when I was little, and my brother and I are both now successful, respectful adults. The father is not at fault for taking his children to an affordable restaurant with great food and great service, you’re at fault for judging him.
1healthymom,
Frankly, your child is 6 months old. When our children are younger, we have ideas of how we want them raised. Take my word for it, your expectations and actions WILL change. We all want what is best for our children, as I’m sure you do, but it really is situational.
I have a 16 year old daughter and an 11 year old son. What they see in the mall, on tv, in magazines and on the internet is far worse than what they will see at Hooters.
These girls are not wearing anything less than what a cheerleaders wears. Are you going to cover you child’s eyes at a football game? When the Redskins are playing?
Exactly WHAT did they see that would scar them? These women are earning an honest living. What you imply is that they are objectified. Seems to me that YOU ARE DOING THIS! It’s not a strip club, for goodness sake!
Wow, health freak. comparing the food to mcdonalds? your child is going to grow up with no life and eat salad for breakfast, lunch and dinner because there is too mmuch sugar in everything else.
Hey, Hooters is actually a family style restaurant. Have you ever actually been in there? What do you mean I shudder if he would have taken his daughter to Hooters along with his son? It’s not like that is out of the norm. Families (male AND female) eat there all the time. You should go sometime.
How are you comparing taking a child to a fun restaurant to showing them a risque magazine?? YOU are not comfortable with your husband being around women that may potentially be more attractive than YOU. If you’ve ever been to Hooters than you’d understand, it’s just a restaurant. As a “Hooters Girl” I deal with throngs of children daily. I hula hoop with them, I draw on their balloons, I dance with them, I show them that it’s ok to be silly and fun.
One more thing, is it ok for someone’s daughter to become a cheerleader? I mean, does this mean fathers only go to football games to stare at scantily-clad jail bait?? At Hooters, the waitresses are adults. And yet we seem to wear more clothing than most children/teenagers wear during summer time.
Most guys have one thing on their minds almost all the time. Women. They’re built to think that way. They can’t help it. Hooters makes fun of that reality.
Sounds like your just a bit insecure to go to the restaurant yourself. You can find a woman with her shirt half open at almost ANY diner – who cares what they are wearing at Hooters?! It’s not like they are serving up wings and a lap dance, seriously.
I only had to read your first sentence to become ruffled. You make judgments on someone else’s parenting yet lack the parental experience yourself! You have no idea what obstacles you will face as a parent….you’re not even into potty training. Step back sister and let creativity take a chance.
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by LiberalCon: RT @NostalgiaDr: 11 year olds at Hooters to develop a healthier attitude http://bit.ly/cN2NH II This ought to rile up some!…
PFFFFFFFT dyoooood yerhilarious, if you wanna go to Hooters go to Hooters! There’s no need to bring your kids into it as some kinda rationalisation about teaching life lessons. I would think sneaking into Hooters on their own at age 15 would be less damaging psychologically for them than GOING WITH THEIR DAD AT 11 AND HAVING HIM BLOG ABOUT ABOUT HIS FAUX-AMBIVALENCE AND POST THEIR PICTURES!!!!!!
hey, i posted about this on my blog. i found the post, nrp talk of the nation spot, and your op-ed interesting if problematic.
cheers.
http://daginventory.blogspot.com/2009/10/talk-of-nation-another-opportunity.html
Im comfused on what the big deal is. Men can be pigs whether or not a women is wearing a tacky orange outfit or an oversized parka. The best way to teach your son about how to treat women is your own actions. This can be achieved on how you treat your mother, wife or daughter. Go to Hooters for the wings not for Life Lessons.
“Had I made a mistake … …and encouraged my son to think of women as objects to be gawked at and joked about by men (or boys), or was it just some harmless fun[?]”
The problem is that our society generally views gawking and joking about women as though they are objects of men’s entertainment AS “harmless fun.” Do you see how that creates at best an uncomfortable, and worst, down right dangerous culture in which women have to exist? Apparently not, if your idea of gauging your son’s burgeoning sexuality is to encourage him to have a little “harmless fun” at Hooters, where waitresses are paid to allow men to gawk at and joke about their bodies.
Here’s a thought: Why not just TALK to your son about sex, BEFORE he learns to treat women as sex objects, rather than reinforcing a version of sexuality that is unhealthy for both men and women?
Also, I think it’s worth mentioning that there’s certainly a possibility that your son will NEVER be sexually interested in women…so the next question you probably need to ask yourself is whether you would be willing to also take him to your imaginary “muscular men in tight shorts” restaurant, considering there is certainly a chance that he is gay.
[…] embarrassed and shy, then that would be a sign that such a pointed talk could wait a bit.” Elston’s blog demonstrates that he is an observant and caring father. He is doing his best to calculate the best […]
hi i didnt see any thing wrong with what you did there my son is 14 now and he has bee around women all his life and i think it is good to at least let them see how they are my son at 14 is still not into women yet all he likes is to be on his computer or play sports.
[…] My 11-Year-Old Son’s First Trip to Hooters « The Rain Racer therainracer.wordpress.com/2009/09/22/hooters – view page – cached Last Saturday after a youth football game, one of my friends and I took our 11-year-old sons to Hooters for lunch. Both boys knew what Hooters is known for and one of them actively wanted to go… (Read more)Last Saturday after a youth football game, one of my friends and I took our 11-year-old sons to Hooters for lunch. Both boys knew what Hooters is known for and one of them actively wanted to go while the other didn’t show any outward signs of interest but perhaps he was just good at hiding it. In any case, we had a decent lunch and before leaving our waitress obliged us by taking a picture with the boys. (Read less) — From the page […]
Tits and asses accentuated in suggestive clothing, along with bad food, served by “girls” who enjoy serving it all up to you is fun and all so natural? Hey, let’s get the testimony of “the girls” to reassure ourselves that they want and like to serve their breasts and asses along with that bad Hooter’s food to wing-eating, sex loving patrons. Yum yum yum little boys and little girls. Learning about sex has never been more natural then when taken to a Hooter’s family oriented restaurant with all those “girls’ being fun and “beautiful” in hopes you leave a big tip for her college fund. Is there a how-to manual for “the Hooter’s girls’ explaining how to extract big tips for services rendered?
Now little boys and little girls, let’s go checkout “the sexy server boys” and bulging “Tooter” in not so discrete clothes while wearing his sexy, how may I serve you? smile. Not going to happen because we aren’t into that kind of education. How would these boys measure up? Are you understanding your sexuality, yet, children? Oh, come on! Daddy loves taking your mommy and you kids to get photographed with one of “the boys” with his oversized (frequently artificially enhanced) dick and hard ass serving it up in his hot pants and wife beater T-shirt so he can get a big tip from you for his college education. The whole family should enjoy watching daddy deal with his homosexual thoughts and trying to pretend THAT isn’t happening. Think of all the sexual learning daddy can’t deal with while sheepishly looking at sexualized young male anatomy while sucking on his bad tasting wings. If women (wives, girlfriends daughters, etc) enjoy dissecting and evaluating “girls” on their breasts and behinds right along with men, then, the men should stop pretending to be homophobic and demanding an equal opportunity for sexual education of boys and girls concerning sexualized male anatomy. “Beautiful” is “beautiful” no matter what sex you are. Judging a person’s beauty is so clearly based on sexualized body parts. Teaching your daughters to see boys and men as sexy body parts should be the continuation of our definition of natural sex. Boys should be able to know a good-looking sexy “boy” and who better to teach this then dad. He knows all about teaching sexuality concerning “girls” and being the open-minded dad…. go for it dad. Or is this mom’s department? She wants her son to know how to please his partner someday, sexually speaking, of course, because if he gets the sexual charades down, he’ll know how to help with the laundry, dishes and be emotionally mature. Mom or a hooker can teach this readily.
To all you concerned people who worry about rape, child molestation, eating disorders, mommies (and daddies) getting their daughters artificial breasts so their daughters are popular, too, and shallow females trying to please random males with their bodies while being pitted against other females for the momentary “sexual glory” of it all…. stop raining on everyone’s parade! This is America. Morality shouldn’t be discussed, that is only for those non-sexual puritan church-goers, not for the liberal fun-loving free thinkers who ALL know a good public sexual experience when they have one. And hey, everybody’s doing it. It must be okay. Even mommies condone it. Remember, “the girls’ like it, too. They get to better themselves through our good tips and appreciation of their assets. We support them in every way, everyday, folks.
And hey, there is way worse on T.V. etc.
And hey, we can justified any and all of our immature thinking and behaviors. If someone disagrees, insult them and shout “em down.
Rape isn’t instigated by, first and foremost dehumanizing females, (yes, males are getting it, too) and those statistics are only some inflated numbers not real people, so it doesn’t matter. Rape is for those real bad haters, not us who know what real sex is. We’re just enjoying the view. We don’t ever act on it nor are we going to take any damn responsibility for those nuts who go too far. Scoping it out is fun and women who are offended are uptight bitches trying to control us red blooded men.
Child molestation has nothing to do with dehumanizing children for all that free fun sex. Stripper poles and throngs for 5 years old? Why not? Old men getting off on young Hooters’ babes is normal. So what, if they have daughters older than the “serving it up with a smile Hooters’ girls”?
Eating disorders are for those people that are trying to “get attention” not the sexy females trying “to get noticed because they have “the right stuff” and need to be reminded by us guys. Yeah, sure, too bad about chicks ruining their lives or dying. Don’t think of them when there is so much out there to enjoy.
Mommies (and daddies) love their daughters so much and know they need bigger breasts to succeed in life to be well-adjusted women in this society. Health issues? Who the hell says that happens? IT IS SO DAMN SAFE! Just ask anyone.
Girls want boys and men to determine their sexual worth based on their bodies. In fact, their general overall worth, since that is what we value most in our “girls”. The advertisers, Hollywood, T.V., video games, billboards, magazines, store merchandise, radio, internet and hot babes displayed for us everywhere reminds us this is all so natural. So fun.
So, men, what do you do if you disagree? What if you know it has nothing to do with being an uptight religious person because you are a non-believer? What if you think it would be better for boys and men to be able to relate to other people who develop a brain and a personality and think sex doesn’t belong in any and all public forums? Why should the immature men and women mandate that we all, including our children, tolerate those men who love females to be on “sexual”display constantly for their childish rationalizations of what sex is?
All of you that love to have a meal with masturbation on the brain while slurping on your wings, with your wife and/or kids in tow, have a retarded notion of sex and sexuality. Showing your kids how the lower element of our over-sexualized nation “does it” brings in to question your own maturation. Gluttony and crudeness are easily justified and one never has to consider those who are paying the price for your fun. After all, you aren’t a rapist, child molester, etc. You don’t perpetuate this stupidity that defines a women. Crush all conversation when someone questions your ethics. Or fun.
Some of us know you are a destructive force in our society and we know that we will not become inhibited and no fun or unnatural if you can’t have your way on your own terms but quite the opposite is true. You are far removed from natural and fun. An orgy at all times and all places is your motto and anyone who challenges you must be disrespected. You want us muzzled. Those of us who see the damage you are causing to our children and everyone’s relationships, in general, are sick of you dictating what is correct for everyone. You have your obsessive idea of what sex is everywhere, in every corner of the public (even wanting it while being served crappy food), and it is shoved in everyone’s faces and we have the right to not have the public forum ruled by your dictatorship of what is fair to all. You have had your way far too long and it is time for you to shut up and listen to others who have something worthwhile to say. IF your need is for multiple sexual images, take it home and get it out of our faces so we can get back to what is really natural. Let our children be children without dads thinking they should take their children (boys) to an eatery for a cheap thrill.
Let our young men learn manners and respect toward women while learning to speaking out against this misogynistic culture. ENOUGH. Grow up.
Glenn that was beautiful. I am not religious either. It is nice to see someone with such wonderful value’s and strength. It is such the norm for women to be oversexualized at a place like Hooters people go, “What’s the big deal?” It is just a little more obvious. Even the name itself is deragatory to women! Way to go Glenn. It is refresing to know there are people with such admirable values. I agree 110 percent!
It’s not that you took them to Hooter’s..
It’s the reason you took them that is embarrassing to the kids..
They are perceptive, and know why they are there, as guinea pigs for your “ingenious” plan of psychological observation.
Way to go, Dad.. You just put way more pressure and emphasis on the unnatural perception of sex and sexual values.
Sex is something private, between two people. It’s not a voyeuristic spectator sport with your parents and grandparents in front row seats.
i just love that someone used the bdsm work “squick” in a comment on this blog! 🙂
Given the sometimes overtly sexual nature of pre-teen advertising and marketed culture, I’m am somewhat shocked at people’s reaction to a father taking his child to a resturaunt where women can be seen in tight fitting clothes. From my experience, the outfits at hooters are on the same level if not better than outifts I’ve seen on Mylie Cyrus or in High School the musical. Sexual images are marketed to children in that coveted tween demographic, many times before the child understands what the content of the image really is. Truthfully, there really isn’t anything at Hooters that children won’t see in their high school cafeteria, and the food will be just as bad.
Using a safe and, honestly, mundane setting like hooters to take a sort of litmus test of your son’s sexual growth is not only intellegent, but examplifies your active interest and engagement in your sons perception of sex. Perhaps, we should all be as lucky as to have fathers who are as engaged in their childrens development.
More power to you. I just don’t get it. Somehow, in 2009, there are lots of people ready to get all bent over a trip to a restaurant. And, the PC police are always on duty.
The food at Hooters just isn’t anything special. The soup choices are really bad; no taste, and very pedestrian. When I think of casual dining; I don’t think of Hooters. There is better food to be had.
I did find the waitresses to be exceptionally attentive. I am always in favor of good service; there is plenty of the other kind out there. I am sure this is part of marketing the concept, of attractive female servers in somewhat scanty, yet still modest, outfits. The waitresses in the local Hooters aren’t even particularly busty. They are just attractive, slender young women doing their jobs.
Hello –
I heard you on Talk of the Nation today – tried to call in but did not make it through. As an older woman, 30 plus year sexuality educator, I am trying to get my mind around how going to Hooter’s can “demystify” sex. Perhaps seeing the waitresses can give a better visual of the female anatomy, but what on earth does that have to do with learning about sex? I hope, for your son’s sake mostly, that you will educate yourself about what is involved in providing a good sexuality education for your son. Seeing woman’s bodies does little to inform young men and boys about the benefits of postponing sex until they are mature enough to be in a committed relationship or how to take precautions to prevent coming in contact with STI’s or unwanted pregnancies. What you’ve done is embarrassed your son enough to keep him from asking questions about issues that may confuse him. He probably thinks with all the hullabaloo about this event, he now should know all he needs to know about sex and will be too embarrassed to ask real questions that could help him make informed decisions.
I also had to comment on your statements about the strong women role models in his life. I don’t doubt they are – but would they be willing to be a waitress at Hooter’s to “demystify” sex for your son or any other 11 year old boy? It’s easy enough to let strangers be the objects of our learning. I suggest you begin treating ALL women, not just your mother and wife, as real people and not objects for teaching abstract, objectifying lessons. Like I’ll ever hear from you –
Lori Allen
lorisandersonallen@hotmail.com
Amen, Lori.
ur a retard
I fail to understand why eating out at a restaurant where the women dress in tanks and shorts is such a big deal, from either perspective.
I find it to be far more inappropriate for your child’s coaches to give him a hard time about where he eats lunch.
The women who work at Hooters do so by choice not force. This is of key importance. These women have no issue with the dress code.
I have actually eaten at Hooters. I don’t particularly enjoy the food, but the atmosphere and dress is just part of the ambiance.
It is so important to talk to your children about sex early and often. If a parent is not talking to their child by the time that child turns 11, that parent has waited far too long.
You took your kids to Hooters? that is almost abuse. their food is just not that good, especially their wings. too much flour and the sauce is too weak.
good job on a little psychological eval on your son. An absolutely great idea. I wish more parents would do this. Then again the parents who should be doing this will not.
I recently took my daughter and her middle school volleyball team to Cocks for a nice celebratory dinner after a tournament. I wanted to get a sense of what she was feeling or thinking about sex. She said, “Mom, why are all the waiters men and why are they only wearing socks, and not on their feet?” And I said, “Our culture has a long practice of using scantily clad men to sell merchandise, even food.” My daughter didn’t seem all that interested, even when one of the other moms teased her about all the attention she was getting from the waiters. I wasn’t intending to push my daughter into the deep and complex waters of sex, but I thought an introduction to it, by means of Cocks, might be a prologue to a conversation in the near future. I mean, I don’t want to be a prude or anything.
Hunny, next time you visit please pick up a foot-long for me. Thanks.
I enjoy taking my two young sons ( 6 & 7) and daughter (13) to Hooters. My daughter and I have gone for some time. She understands the attitude of the place. It is a great place to take your kids. Especially, then they are active! The waitresses i have had cater to the kids. They joke with them and allow them to express their opinions. Also, most people do not get upset if the kids are running around a little. You go to other restaurants and the kids need to stay seated. As for my daughter we have been going since she was a toddler, she loves going. Now she is 13 and remaining on the prudish side, while a lot of her (sheltered) friends are becoming a lot more Risque in their attitudes and dress. It is not taking them to a place, it is how you handle things while you are there.
I also wonder how many of those appaled by your actions have even been to Hooters to know what they are saying. All in all it is just a fun place to eat. IMO
I made a typo above.
Please forgive me for the repeat post, I spell-check everything, but I used a word not in the dictionary.
It was kind of the most important word in the post, so I hope you don’t mind if I take the liberty of reposting. Everything else is left as is.
Not “hereo-ize” but “hetero-ize”
(repeat post with correction follows below)
It seems to me that people are not only questioning your reasons for doing what you did, but also the sincerity of the reasons you express.
And since you write
“To be fair, I should also ask myself if I would take my 10-year-old daughter to a place that featured muscular men in tight shorts serving her food. I would have no problem with that.”
I think you would go a long way towards convincing people if you were to bring all 3 children to Hooters and all 3 children to the “muscular men” place (can’t protest there isn’t one – you’ve gotta find it, now that you’ve opened the proverbial box).
Anything less will make it seem as if you are trying to “hetero-ize” your boys as early as possible, no matter how much explaining you do.
Wow. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! You’ve given me yet another reason (probably number ten million) to be thankful that I had a wonderful, intelligent, fiercely independent father who taught us to respect people, men and women alike.
I cannot imagine having a father who would drag his kids along to an inane place like this, to teach them that the only thing women should aspire to, is to look cute for ignorant, insecure males.
What a lesson.
What is *really* squicking people about this, I suspect — on a subconscious level that they might not even be thinking about — is that *you’re even thinking about your child’s sexuality at all*.
Oh, my ghod, they’re thinking; that’s *so* perverted.
You and I, of course, being grownups, know better: your kids *will* be sexual beings, and probably much sooner than you’d like, and they *are* your responsibility until they’re 18, so knowing what you wanted to know here seems only sane to me.
I’m on your side; ignore the ravers.
As a mom and a wife, I just don’t get the fuss over a Hooters. My husband and our neighbor go there after their weekly golf game. I’ve been to a Hooters many times. I’m sort of perplexed as to why all the fuss about it. I’ve been to other restaurants where the waitresses wear the same amount of clothing… are just as pretty and just as flirty. Who cares?
Actually, the negative response to this blog further explains this country’s problem with sexuality (and thus, our higher rate of predators, etc.) We do NOT have a healthy view of human sexuality in this country.
We’ll sheild our children’s eyes when there’s kissing in a movie yet let them watch horrible violence and bloodshed without a thought. I actually witnessed this a father do this to a 5 yr. old boy in a theatre watching Pirates of the Caribbean. The boy kept stating how scared he was throughout the film how scared he was of the skeletons, the violence. His dad kept telling him to keep watching because it was “just a movie.” Then they kiss in the end… the dad QUICKLY COVERS HIS KIDS EYES!
What kind of message is that?
I think people need to lighten up about places like Hooters and instead worry about the killing games their kids are playing and violence laden movies they’re watching.
Wow, … wow!
I think you are doing a fine job, and I don’t think taking your kids (of any age) to a family restaurant is a bad thing.
Sure Hooters is known for their larges breasts and short shorts, but truly I have seen worse at normal family restaurants. Women who instead of a tight shirt and a push up bra have a lacey shirt and no bra, or worse.
Feeling out your sons sexual compass was a great idea, and I am glad I read this post, my son is only 8 months old, but you can bet this nugget of knowledge will carry with me for the next 11+ years and when I feel the time is right I too will take my son on an adventure/dinner to see what I can find out without being overly “in his face”
As for your son getting razzed by the football coaches, you are right to tell him “that’s guys”. Perhaps he will learn from the experience and himself become a more compassionate man because he will have known the humility of the situation. I see that as a double bonus for your trip.
Finally I respect your decision to take your son to Hooters, because I think you can show your son that you can observe and respect the women who you find beautiful, and not just salivate and lust after them, instead you are showing him it is possible to converse with women and articulate in the presence of a female being.
Good work, keep it up.
[…] when I read a blog from another father who got the intarwebs panties in a bunch when he took his 11 year old son to Hooters after a football game. Apparently, this is a no-no to some (however for the life of me I […]
Wow Americans are some sick puritan pervs. Hooters is a restaurant like any other. There is no age requirement to enter. I am ashamed that the religious minority in America has been able to brainwash so many of you.
Maybe America would be better off with more flesh and a lot less violence. So you self righteous moral nut jobs, give up your weapons and start fornicating for fun. Please use birth control we don’t need any more of you using up our oxygen.
Hm… Greg- sounds like someone is in need of a hug. I’m one of those “self righteous moral nut jobs” and I do not share whatever opinion you think is indicative of spiritual folks.
I think that it’s a MORAL obligation to take an interest in your children’s sexuality. Speaking of brainwashing… it sounds like you’ve had a bit of it yourself.
I see nothing wrong with this approach to discovering his son’s level of interest in the opposite sex. Plenty of folks who are not “sick puritan pervs” do not take the time to talk to their children about sex. They’re too busy, uninterested and somehow think everything will ‘work itself out’.
“Give up your weapons and start fornicating for fun” Wow. Um. No thank you. Condoms break, people can be jerks, people carry STD’s, birth control can fail. I’m quite content with my exceedingly sexy husband to fill all my needs. And no one else. Last thing I’d need is lover after lover bumbling around with me when I have plenty of the good stuff right at home. You… eh… have fun with that.
Meanwhile, I shall pray for you after my own ‘religious minority’ fashion that you don’t get any STD’s, broken condoms, and emotional bankruptcy.
YOU CAN NOT TOUCH HOOTER GIRLS!! YOU WILL GO TO JAIL!!! THAT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT!!
I’m a Hooters girl and have worked for the company for three years.I enjoy my job very much. I was presented with this article today while at work. I was surprised to read that people really would say the things they did. Hooters is a family restaurant for people of all ages. We care more about the kids then the adults that walk in. Just because we wear shorts and a tank top we are stereotyped to all the bad. Some people are to ignorant to the fact that there is more things to worry about then a girl working at a restaurant. Have you seen the cartoons today? What about video games? Some say that your teaching your son to look at women as a sex object, but 5 year olds are playing violent video games. What is that teaching them? It’s said more often that children today are learning violence from cartoons and video games then from where they eat dinner. When you go to the beach do you cover your child’s eyes so they don’t see the girl in the bikini next to you? Are you not going to have family vacation because of half naked girls? There are tons of families that come into Hooters.
Yes I have a daddy and I’m his little girl, but he is fine with me working for Hooters. Really my 90 year old great grandmother is fine with it. Working at Hooters has helped me pay my tuition for college and they offer tuition reimbursement for good grades. I’m not going to work there for the rest of my life but its a job and I’m not ashamed of it! Delightfully Tacky Yet Unrefined
Wow, Delightfully Tacky Yet Unrefined. I am a mother, a college student, and the wife of a musician (so, I can assure you that I’ve seen things WAY worse than you can find at Hooters) and I try not to be judgmental of the fact that some women don’t have anything to offer other than their bodies.
I think that the hype that is given to Hooters is silly, from all sides, because apparently the women aren’t as scantily-clad as other women portray, but really, that’s still the reason that men choose to eat there. I believe that the general consensus is that Hooters doesn’t even have good food (with the exception of their wings). So until women take more pride in themselves and decide to get jobs that show their brains rather than their thinness and (sometimes) overly sized breasts, we can’t really look down on men for gawking – after all, that’s what the waitresses want.
That being said, I wouldn’t care for my son to eat there at eleven years old. Maybe he and his dad could go when he’s fifteen or sixteen, but I still think it would be silly.
Anyhow, the point of my post was to comment on where you said, “Working at Hooters has helped me pay my tuition for college and they offer tuition reimbursement for good grades. I’m not going to work there for the rest of my life but its a job and I’m not ashamed of it!” I wouldn’t start filling out applications at more professional jobs just yet. It seems that you still have quite a bit to learn about grammar in the English language. But, on the upside, Hooters will reimburse you for the extra years in college!
Whoa there, talk about some passive-aggressive talk. Picking on a poor, starving college student are we? Somebody sounds a little bitter. So the reason you wanted to reply to her post was to comment on her grammar? What the hell for? I cant stand people like that. What do you want? “Good job! You are smarter than your average Hooters Girl!” We all make mistakes, especially if we happen to be typing quickly. Unfortunately, not all of us have a handy set of parents to pay for our schooling, and so we are forced to work for it. Hooters pays a lot for a little work. That being said, it makes sense to work 2 days at a job and make the same amount as if you were working 5 days in an entry-level job elsewhere. Doesn’t it?
And P.S
Do YOU like being gawked at? Probably not. But you get dressed up to go out with your girls or your husband right? I’m guessing men hit on you, whistle, cat call, etc. I guess for you to understand where I’m coming from, you’d need to think in that perspective. It’s just a job that pays the bills. We’re allowed/encouraged to goof around and be ourselves. We’re surrounded by fun, beautiful, and often intelligent young women. I love it. Think about that. And maybe stop and think first before you make yourself sound like a total jerk.
What a Hooters Girl wants isn’t to be gawked at or looked down upon as you put, we honestly just want to earn some money. Yes, we get hired based on what we look like, but we also are hired for our personalities and if we can hold up a conversation. Don’t go around dissing Hooters Girls based on your preconceived notions and one girl’s blogging grammar. My fellow Hooters Girls and I do have pride, but unfortunally in this economy we also have bills, debt, and for some, families to support. I suggest you open up your mind and little bit, go to your local Hooters, and have a conversation with your waitress.
I don’t understand the whole opposition to “objectifying women.” Women objectify men. Yes, even you- or your wife- or your teenage daughter ogles over a man in their life by thinking about sex. Sex in itself is a physical desire and everyone- both men and women are wired to think as such. I agree with those who speak about moderation and keeping it out in the open- as the column on USA Today states.
The problem with sex, drugs, and alcohol isn’t that kids go overboard when their parents expose them to it in a safe environment. The problem is when parents try to shelter their children, and since they are- in fact- children, they will do what they must to explore forbidden territory.
Try this- tell your kids not to look in a closet and they will try their damnedest to get a peek. Then mention that all that’s in the closet are things you expect- shoes, coats, hangers, perhaps the iron on the top shelf- and you’ll find they may never look in the closet again until they need one of those things.
I think people who shelter their children are doing more harm than this blogger… not that I think he’s doing any harm at all.
It seems to me that people are not only questioning your reasons for doing what you did, but also the sincerity of the reasons you express.
And since you write
“To be fair, I should also ask myself if I would take my 10-year-old daughter to a place that featured muscular men in tight shorts serving her food. I would have no problem with that.”
I think you would go a long way towards convincing people if you were to bring all 3 children to Hooters and all 3 children to the “muscular men” place (can’t protest there isn’t one – you’ve gotta find it, now that you’ve opened the proverbial box).
Anything less will make it seem as if you are trying to “hereo-ize” your boys as early as possible, no matter how much explaining you do.
NO ONE wants their daughter to work at Hooters.
What does that tell you about it?
FAIL!
My mom thinks it’s hilarious that I work there. Of course it’s not her first choice, but I’m in college! I work two days a week and it pays my bills, allows me to live comfortably, and still have enough left over to save. I can spend most of my time studying. Her first reaction? “LET ME SEE THE UNIFORM!” Her second reaction? “THEY STILL MAKE THOSE?? I HAD A PAIR OF SHORTS LIKE THAT IN COLLEGE!” She’s come in with her LARPing (nerd acronym for life action role playing aka those people that dress up in medieval garb and sword fight each other. It’s awesome) group plenty of times. My mom runs a hospital and I’m following in her footsteps. Hooters is just a stepping stone. Nothing more, nothing less.
Ignore the naysayers. There are worse places to take your child and worse shown on TV than Hooters. They’re more likely hypocrites than anything else.
These are probably the conservative, right-wing nut jobs that have a war on nudity, sex, etc. Why is that casual nudity in public in other countries have lower unwanted births and sexual related diseases than here in the U.S.?
Sex sells in this country, period. There is nothing wrong taking your child to Hooters. Kudos.
I guess taking your son out to the beach is out of the question, according to some of these people here.
Where are we heading…?
Look at the TV, internet – 11 year old’s are able to find pictures that their dads have a hard time finding 🙂
Good luck.
T
I have to admit that I read your article and responses and still am unable to encourage or agree with your trip to Hooters…whether or not you like to admit it, you are sending a message that its ok to go to a place where women are objectified when the place is specifically marketed like that. Your son may be telling you now that he doesn’t want to go again, but he’s only saying that because he doesn’t want to get teased by his peers. In a few years, he might look at it differently when his friends are older. He might tell his friends, “My dad took me here when I was 11, so it’s ok to go here.” Don’t you see that as a possible consequence? If so, then why would you do it if there’s even a slight chance that could occur. Maybe it wouldn’t, but if you agree that could happen, then why take that chance? If you don’t take your boy there, and in fact speak out against that objectifying, then he won’t get that message. Break the cycle.
And, of course they are getting inundated with sexual messages from peers at school, television, radio, movies, and video games. It’s not about shielding, it’s about explaining. And, if you don’t want to send a message of something being ok, you don’t partake in it yourself. Of course, experiencing things firsthand can be invaluable. Like travelling, or sports, or religious activities. But, if you want your son to grow up respecting women, you have to be their model. Kids pick up on things, and not always the way you are trying to explain. Break the cycle.
Also, your statement of wanting to check up on your boys “development,” and that soon he would be interested in girls, implies that you are not taking into account that he might not be straight. Would that bother you if he were gay? Why don’t you let him develop without assuming. Break the cycle.
If you want to teach him about girls, show him how well you treat your wife and other women without staring and taking him to places of gawking. Talk to him about sex and your views. Don’t get him a playboy. It’s no coincidence that your dad bought you a playboy and that you took your son to Hooters. Let’s break the cycle by teaching respect, not by objectifying. If there’s even a chance that your son could misread your intentions of taking him there to “check on his development,” why don’t you try something that he won’t misread by not ever going to Hooters. Break the cycle.
Would you be alright with your daughter working there? Would you be comfortable with all these men staring and perhaps even touching your daughter? I doubt you would. Don’t send the message by going there, that it’s not that big a deal. It can be, so let’s not take that chance. Just because your dad bought you a playboy, doesn’t mean that was good parenting. Break the cycle.
Let’s spread a message of respecting others, and self-respect. Let’s talk to our kids about sex and all the messages out there with peers and the media. Explain to them what good and safe decisions would be. Explain the negative consequences of their potential actions. Sheltering your kids isn’t the answer. It’s leading by example and explaining things. Break the cycle of so many families thinking these things are ok to do with kids. Break the cycle of so many families not teaching their kids to respect others as human beings. Break the cycle of objectifying women.
“I think those who faulted me for engaging in immoral and irresponsible parenting actually missed the main point. Perhaps there is a small chance that eating a cheeseburger in the company of busty women might push my son over the edge. It will more likely pull him away from it. That’s one of the lessons I learned from the way my parents raised me.”
Perhaps you missed the main point. If there is a small chance that eating a burger in the company of busty women might push him to think its ok, then why take that chance, even if there is another chance he won’t. Why? Break the cycle.
Also, your naivety shows in your statement, “I am pretty certain that if someday one of his friends asks him to go to Hooters, he’ll say, “Nah, I’ve been there once and it is no big deal.” Perhaps more easily it could be that “my dad took me there so it’s alright.” Why did you even give him a chance to think that by taking him. Break the cycle.
We all have to deal with the consequences of our actions and no one is perfect, but let’s try to raise kids having learned from our poor actions when we were growing up. Let’s break the cycle that is happening in this society with our degradation and objectification of women. Let’s teach respect and love for one another and explain good and safe decisions by teaching our kids that there are consequences to the things we do. Things that we might think aren’t affecting kids, are in fact doing so sometimes. Let’s break the cycle!
My daughter (11) tried some Hooters wings at a party not long ago. She loved them.
A few weeks later, when I asked her where she wanted to eat lunch one day, she suggested Hooters because she liked the wings.
So I took her.
You know what she learned? That she likes the food there.
Neither she nor I felt uncomfortable. No one had any snide comments. She didn’t ask why the waitresses were wearing shorts and tank tops. It was a complete non-issue.
I think the hangups about such things are imposed on children by parents who are hung up on the issues themselves. Frankly, the outfits aren’t even that revealing and its not worth getting riled up about.
I have been to Hooters in the past and I enjoyed the place. The girls were nice looking and fun to talk to. However, I was younger then and did not have children.
I have no interest in visiting Hooters these days.
Hooters seems like a great place for a young and single crowd. However, I suspect the older guys tip better.
I have not read many of the comments here, but it would sure be nice to hear more from the employees at Hooters.
Most pruddish women look like men if they are not already gay and religous fanatics both male and female would rather see women look like mother Teresa and fill young boys and girls with night marish images of their privates filled with nasty oozing sores with disease. There is nothing wrong with boys stealing dads playboy book or parents taking them to Hooters for a laugh that is already known to them anyway from school rumors between themselves.
Did it ever occur to those of you who disagree with Bob that in Europe, parents allow their children to sip wine (to try it) and beer as well. They also don’t hold sex over their heads and billboards have scantily clad women and men on them.
My point is that in Europe, they don’t have the binge drinking problem that we have in the U.S. with our teens nor do they have the high teen pregnancy rate.
Why??? Because most teenagers want to do what they were always told was horrible and they become heavy drinkers and have sex at much earlier ages compared to European countries. It’s one thing to take your kid to a strip club or offer him a full blown cocktail but to educate them in moderation, is a good thing in my opinion.
Your 12 old is already talking about it in school, whether you believe it or not!!!
I love how people say, “Over in Europe” When it is not like that at all. I saw an article about Britian’s alcohol problems and people were all laying about on the streets wasted and people talking how they don’t feel safe.
England isn’t even part of the “continent.” They have their own rules. Everywhere else in “Europe,” including the British Isles (for the most part), drinking is not an issue. Half of my family lives in England, Spain, France, and Sweden. “One article” isn’t exactly accrediting your statement.
Visiting Tempe AZ for my daughter’s college graduation in 2003, I took my 13 yr old son to Hooters for some bonding. I told the waitress it was it his B-day so he could get some focused attention and I could get a great picture of him for his scrapbook. Being an honest kid he told the waitress it wasn’t his B-day, but the waitress signaled him to be quite and said “Everyday is your birthday at Hooters!”. Good not have said it better!
The problem with taking a young child to a restaurant like Hooter’s has nothing to do with being a prude. It is about the fact that Hooter’s objectifies women (after all, it’a a restaurant named after crude slang for a women’s breasts) and that is not what our young boys should be learning.
If a young boy is taught it’s okay to stare at and objectify women then it will be hard for them to grow up and respect women.
Would you take your daughter there? Would you let her work there?
Bob, I just read the article in USA Today about your trip to Hooters. Good for you !!!!! I am raising my second family; 2 sons 10 & 13 yrs. old. My oldest daughter just turned 40 last Sat. She has a BA and Masters in education and a great family. # 2 daughter has a set of 9 yr. old twins, both happily married and living a good life. I did every thing within reason to expose them to the outside world. This way I suppressed their curiosity and thus reduced their interest in experimenting life the wrong way. I am now doing the same with my two sons, and I hope so far with good success. I was in law enforcement for 25 years and the best and the worst of the world. And the kids that I had to deal with more, were the ones who led a sheltered existence. Keep up the good work !!!! Your sons will grow more well rounded then those who have to seperate themselves from their mothers breast. God bless !!!!
I will understand if you don’t want to include this in your blog, but I wanted to respond to your “Hooters” experience. I am 60 years old, and was raised as an “army brat” by my single father (my mom died when I was six). In truth, much of my upbringing was by my grandparents, as Dad was in Korea, Vietnam, and numerous other TDY assignments during his 30 years in the military. My grandparents, while caring and generous, were also “old school”: strict, church 2-3 times per week, and (literally) washing my mouth out with soap for a profane word. I was sixteen when Dad returned from Vietnam, and thanks to my grandparents, I knew very little about sex or the opposite sex. Can you really get a woman pregnant by washing your clothes with hers?? Anyway, my father was the type that felt you learn from doing, not from reading, and he hired a call girl (not a street hooker) to spend a week with me to teach me how to treat a woman, in and out of the bedroom. She taught me how to dress, how to act, how to talk to a woman, and basically, what a woman wants, emotionally as well as physically. My wife and I have just celebrated our 37th wedding anniversary, and she has said more than once that she wished she could send my “teacher” a thank you note. My father passed away three years ago, but I can’t look at my beautiful wife without remembering what he did for me.
Those who condemn you for taking your son to Hooters need to get their heads out of the sand. Children are exposed to far more, and far worse, than an attractive, clothed waitress. What you did shows your son that women are people, not objects, and that they deserve the same respect that they give to you. It beats the heck out of what he will see and learn on HBO when you and your wife are out of the house.
Parenting by “protecting” children from reality is incompetent parenting. The job of a parent is to expose children to reality, and to teach them how to deal with it.
This is sometimes best done by example, and sometimes by drawing the answer out from the children themselves. They learn best when the realization comes from within, but they have to be capable of it. They’re generally more capable than we give them credit for.
That’s not to say it’s appropriate to expose children to all situations (dangerous, grossly immoral, etc.). They can envision those things by extension. But sheltering them is a mistake.
There’s a reason why the teen pregnancy rate is much higher in states where “abstinence only” is emphasized. Figure it out.
Quit treating your offspring like they’re idiots, and watch how beautifully they surprise you. You may have to let go a little. But to refuse to take any chances is to take the biggest chance of all.
Well if we were all moral there would be no “harsh realities” to expose them to. Everybody objectifies women, son so you need to learn about it, and so on…
I just read the USA Today article. At first, I thought you were out of your mind. But, the aricle caused me to think.
I love women. I am 50+ years old, have older kids, and have been married for 30 years.
I would not have taken my kids to Hooters. I would not take my wife to Hooters. I have been to Hooters, and enjoyed the experience. Why would I not take my children to Hooters? I am not sure, even as I write. It creates more questions than it answers.
If its OK to take your son to Hooters, a positive experience…perhaps we should take our wives to a adult strip club. Should we load the kids on an airplane and go smoke pot in Amsterdam? I say that tougue in cheek, but I did take my son to Las Vegas for his 21st birthday.
I guess there is not a correct answer…but I lean towards taking my kids to museums and historic sights. We did take our kids to some fancy restaurants, in the hope that they would practise their manners and be more comfotable as adults.
I guess in the final analysis, do what you want, but what did your son learn? Embarassment, sexual tention, or to eat deep fried food? I just don’t know.
I can promnise you, as an older father, when your children do start with the oppositite sex, its a one way gate like those at the Kentucky Derby. The bell rings and they are off!
Good luck!
It’s actually funny how some of you people offer the ridiculous quote “boys will be boys”. This has nothing to do with the story Rain has told. I do not believe that by taking your son to Hooters you “demystified” anything. Daytime television can offer a more helpful experience than that of what you have done.
What you need to realize is this: Kids grown up at different paces. You may think you did him a “favor” by taking him to Hooters, but in turn you may have hurt his reputation at school, where kids spend most of their time.
You need to be there to aid your son when he starts developing an interest in the opposite sex, but not necessarily before. School systems have classes that they are required to give that “demystify” sex for your kids. I am not here to claim they are totally and completely effective, but whatever uncertainties they leave, you can easily fill in.
It is my belief, that you took your son to Hooters so you could write this in your blog and spark discussion, thus giving you vast readership. Your son is not a guinea pig. Please step off the soap box and if you want to do some research, seek help from volunteers.
[…] a few weeks ago and it is buried in my archives, but I’ll save you the scrolling and put it Here. Below is the picture: The Hooters picture. My son is the one on the […]
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We’re Worried About Abuse. Thoughts?
Taking My 11-Year-Old to Hooters
But I Don’t Want a Boy…
In Love With Two Men
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[…] taking my son to Hooter’s (if you really want to see it, i’ll make it easy for you: here it is). That post was popular and controversial when I wrote it a few weeks ago, but I have grown tired […]
If an 11 year old is not suppose to go to Hooters they would put a sign on the door and black-out the windows.
So what, I am not 21 years old anymore and a long time ago, I had a great body to. Maybe the sister-in-law is just a “holyer then though”. Sorry, they don’t serve wings and beer at my church.
Do you let your kids watch TV, go to the beach, or even walk down the street? You gotta get along and except everybody nowadays, well to be politically correct.
I say to each their own and if the boys didn’t want to stay, I ‘m sure mom would have taken them across the street to Chunky Cheese were there friends would have ragged on them too.
haha i dont think there is anything wrong with it…boys are boys….i personally love hooters! i went there for my 16 birthday and they made me stand on a bar stool and all the girls surrounded me and sang the hooters bday song to me! hahaha yeah i was embarrassed but its a GR8 memory that ill never forget. haha im sure your boys had a great time! i mean its not like you took them to a strip club or something like rachels steak house….hahaha…women can be women sometimes i know how we are…one moment something is fine with us the next its the worst thing you could have possibly done! haha dont sweat it your boys just think your a pretty cool dad now im sure 🙂
I would figure anyone would be embarrassed having to stand on a stool in front of everyone in the restaurant while they sang “happy birthday” to them. I agree, it would be a great memory to have. 🙂
Best response yet:
written by MileHighDad, September 25, 2009
That is exactly why I took my son to Hooters for lunch today after seeing this post yesterday, we like Owls! Right?
Oh to be 21 again!
The comments keep pouring in at dad-blogs.com on this post. Some people on both sides of the issue are getting a bit too worked up about it but that’s okay.
It goes to show that if I write a blog post about some interesting tactic to improve your parenting, few people read and comment. But if I mention Hooters and put a picture of a waitress in the piece, then everyone has an opinion.
Here’s the comments:
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written by Daddy Files, September 23, 2009
Wow. I can’t believe how uptight some people are. Seriously, this is some Puritanical stuff going on right now.
First of all, just because a woman works at Hooters doesn’t make her bad or dirty. She is not debasing herself by delivering food in a tank top. It’s a job. She’s not a prostitute (unless they’ve changed the menu since I’ve last been) or anything, so relax. You people are assuming a Hooters waitress can’t be an aspiring doctor, lawyer or mother. It’s absurd to be that judgmental.
Second, why do I have to remember she’s someone’s little girl? That makes no sense. She’s not being sexually molested. She’s not a stripper. No one is attacking her in way. They’re looking at an attractive woman. That’s not objectification, it’s NATURE! It is in our nature to look at a man/woman we find attractive. There is nothing wrong with looking (note looking, not ogling and drooling on yourself).
Third, I take great issue with the person who said it teaches your son a bad lesson to “lust” after a woman. The only problem is that in this case, there was no lusting. There was a family dinner at Hooters. I, personally, have been to a strip club with my father when I was 18. My dad is a great father and one hell of a person. He’s been married to my mom for 32 years and they’re still together. But you know what? He’s human! I know he looks at other women, because it’s only natural. I also know he loves my mom and will never leave her. You can act all high and mighty and try to hide it from your kids when a pretty girl walks by on the street, but they know. It’s better to be honest with them and explain to them how that shit really works than to pretend you’re a robot who doesn’t notice anything around him.
I’m a little worried that the Dad-Blogs convention is going to be pretty damn boring at this point. Doesn’t anyone lighten up enough to have some fun???
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written by ciara, September 23, 2009
everyone’s perception of morality and indecency is different. how does looking at someone of the opposite sex mean you’re lusting after them? are you effing kidding me? i suppose if i were to ogle a woman’s breasts that would make me lesbian. @keith-i’m w you on the folks who think they’re the gatekeepers…everyone’s entitled to their own opinion on this matter and as long as your not shoving your idea of morality and indecency down my throat, it’s all good.
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written by Erick, September 23, 2009
Since you asked in the post, I’d say you made a mistake. Those girls may enjoy their job, but I teach my boys that women deserve better than that. If that’s what they choose for themselves, so be it. But whether they know or recognize it, they’re made for better.
@ciara: is morality ever for anything other than shoving down someone’s throat? Every time I hear that phrase, it seems to be making a not-so-subtle argument that there is no such thing as a general morality that society should recognize. They’re going to see naked women someday anyway, so what’s wrong with taking them to a strip club? Seriously. I know it’s not the same as Hooters, but is there a line? And if so, who decides it? Government? Church? You? There either is moral truth, or there is not. We don’t each get to decide for ourselves. So who’s going to shove it down our throats? (No pun intended.)
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written by bobnthuan, September 23, 2009
As the author of the piece, I take everyone’s comments to heart. If what I did was supported unanimously by everyone who read my blog, then there would be no point in writing it up in the first place.
I suppose that Hooters in this case stands in for anything that veers toward inappropriate or on the borderline of tastefulness. I could have written about taking an 11 year old to a PG-13 movie or play an M-rated video game on the xbox. It is up to all of us as parents to make that call based on what we know about our children and the things we teach them at home.
As I said, the two boys had never been to Hooters but they both knew what it is all about. Driving past it and ignoring it or telling them that we disapprove of how women are treated there might only have served to make them more intensely curious. But taking them inside to see exactly what they had heard about tends to demystify things and puts it into a context that is easier for parents to talk about later. It is not like their views of women will be formed over a lunch at Hooters. It is up to the parent to know their kids and step in and set them straight if the wrong lessons are learned.
Just my opinion. Thanks for commenting.
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written by Daddy Files, September 23, 2009
Erick: Everyone is entitled to their opinion and you’ve stated yours. However, you said:
“Those girls may enjoy their job, but I teach my boys that women deserve better than that. If that’s what they choose for themselves, so be it. But whether they know or recognize it, they’re made for better.”
I have a HUGE problem with that and frankly, you sound like a first class jerk and a complete elitist. Basically you just said you’re teaching your boys that women deserve better than to be waitresses. Because that’s all Hooters girls are. Waitresses.
And then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, you go on to insult their intelligence even further by saying “whether they recognize it or not.” Because obviously a Hooters girl is too dumb to have any kind of self-awareness right? A girl who works at Hooters couldn’t possibly make up her own mind about things. But thank goodness she’s got you — the moral compass of humanity — to determine what is right/wrong, better/worse for other people.
Do you have any idea how pompous you sound? There is no moral truth. Morals differ depending on the individual. Each family has its own set of morals. But it sounds as if people such as yourself wish they could impose their set of morals on everyone else, and that’s unfortunate not to mention arrogant and off-putting.
You don’t want to bring your kid to Hooters? Fine. But I truly hope you’re not teaching them that anyone who views the world differently is bad or wrong.
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written by Mr. H, September 23, 2009
If raising my sons to be pure of mind and heart and raising them to respect women for who they are is considered puritanical and 1950’s, then sign me up. I’ll wear those labels as a badge of honor!
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written by ciara, September 23, 2009
daddyfiles: that’s what i was trying to say >>>> “There is no moral truth. Morals differ depending on the individual. Each family has its own set of morals.”
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written by SurprisedMom, September 23, 2009
Much ado about nothing. If you want to go to Hooters, go. If you want to take your family, go. If you don’t, then don’t. What is the big deal? The women are waitresses, who applied for the jobs. They are waitresses that wear tank tops. If you make a big to do out of of this, your kids will, too. If you don’t, it won’t make an impression. I don’t think Hooters is selling anything but average food.
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written by Daddy Files, September 24, 2009
Mr. H: I hate to break it to you but you can raise your sons to be pure of heart/respectful of women and still go to a place like Hooters. I don’t see how a trip to Hooters is disrespectful to women. They’re not indentured servants over there you know? They applied for the job on their own. And they’re not naked. In fact I’m willing to bet some of the customers in any given Hooters will be more provocatively dressed than the waitresses.
The point is if you think your kids will never leer at women (or men, you never know) then you are out of your ever-loving mind. And frankly, teaching them that it’s wrong and disrespectful to look at and appreciate a beautiful woman is crazy.
It’s unfortunate (although expected) that some of the more conservative folks have turned this into a referendum on morality and Hooters, when the author was focusing more on parenting and rites of passage. It’s fine to disagree and state you’ll never bring your kids to Hooters, but I have a problem when others not only judge the author and call him a bad parent, but then go on to insult anyone who does or ever has worked at Hooters. That’s small-minded and it just isn’t right.
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written by GoodSaints, September 24, 2009
This quote says it all.
There is no moral truth. Morals differ depending on the individual. Each family has its own set of morals.
And our country (and on a greater scale the world) will suffer for it.
This topic touched off a wave of comments from readers at dad-blogs.com where I cross-posted this article. Take a look:
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written by WeaselMomma, September 23, 2009
I have been to Hooters on more than one occasion and must say that I would not bring my kids there, nor is it my first choice of eating establishment. 1. Their wings stink. I love wings, love them and the wings there are lousy. 2. It’s one thing that your children will be exposed to ‘sex’ advertising all over the place. It’s another to show them that you not only condone these attitudes, but that you facilitate their experience of them. 3. I think this was a poor excuse for a barometer of where your son is mentally when it comes to development and girls. There are many other more natural settings in everyday life to watch your son and his behavior. My guess is that you wanted to entertain yourself with the wait staff and your sons reaction to it.
I actually have nothing against the restaurants theme. If parents want to take their families there, fine. It’s not like the women are naked, but the waitresses do play up the theme. That’s fine, they are making a living, but it’s not the example of women that I want to promote to my son (or my daughters).
Would you encourage your daughter to work at Hooters or any similar establishment? Why or why why not? I understand the ‘that’s my boy’ thought process, but what’s with the double standard? Those waitresses are somebody else’s little girls.
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written by BellaDaddy, September 23, 2009
Personally, I think it is all “much ado about nuttin”…(pun intended)…seriously? There is much worse going on in television, movies and most certainly video games…and no offense to women, but I have seen, and so has my daughter, MUCH MORE exposed on the streets, in retail…in everyday life. Have said it before, and have agreed with many who share the same…”It all starts at home”…explain to the child the “rationality” (even if there is none) and hope they grow up knowing right from wrong. What/when something is appropriate and what/when it is not……HOPE! My THREE year old saw a commercial for a Bra on TV the other day and screamed at me that she never wanted to have “Big Boobies”…she only ever wants smally boobies…(true story AND it was a Victoria’s Seceret Ad)
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written by robkphd, September 23, 2009
I wouldn’t go to Hooters myself much less take my son. It is a matter of values and how we see and treat other human beings. Admiring beauty is one thing. Treating women as objects to amuse me is not. Teaching our sons to do so is even worse. It doesn’t matter that there is worse on TV. Flip the commercials, change the channel or turn off the stupid thing.
Guys, we’ve got to teach our kids some values. Treating women as objects or frequenting establishments that do so is bonehead fathering.
Someone should call it like it is.
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written by Russ, September 23, 2009
Not a big hooters fan myself. If I go out to eat,I want good food. Hooters ain’t it.
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written by Daddy Files, September 23, 2009
Oh stop whining people.
Boneheaded fathering? You’re so off base here. And if you think a trip to Hooters with an 11-year-old is immoral then get thee to a frickin nunnery and be done with it.
Hooters sucks, but mainly because their food is overpriced and not worth the money. It has nothing to do with the waitresses. There are SO MANY families at Hooters each time I’ve been there. Sure the waitresses usually have big boobs accentuated by a tight tank top and shorter than average shorts, but so what? Half the people walking down the street in my town have just come from the beach and they’re wearing next to nothing. Does that mean I shouldn’t take my kids to the beach?? Of course not! Grow up people.
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written by ciara, September 23, 2009
double crap…gonna agree w df one more time on this one. far worse things out there than hooters (not that i’ve ever been or will because i’ve heard it was overpriced plus there isn’t one near by) from what i’ve heard, lots of families go to eat there. and just because these women work at hooters, what kind example of women are they?? is that any worse than seeing those women who dress like a hooch everyday out on the streets, women in barely-there bikinis? we are all quick to judge someone based on the type of place they work at, how they dress, etc. for all you know, one of those hooter girls could be studying to be a doctor, lawyer, or whatever. if you don’t want any kind of sex exposed to your children, then i guess you better keep them indoors.
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written by GoodSaints, September 23, 2009
As a Catholic father of 4 young children, I am cautious as far as going to the beach or anywhere for that matter. I’m not going to take my kid’s to a busy beach in the middle of summer when you don’t know what you’re going to see. I’m definitely not going to take them to a restaurant that is famous for female body parts. Just because today’s society seems to approve of the TV, movies, music, video games, clothing, etc. doesn’t mean my kids need to see it or are ready to see it. It might be more inconvenient and harder work to protect my kids from the garbage out there, but it’s worth it to me.
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written by John Jansen, September 23, 2009
Ditto RobK’s comments.
And WeaselMomma’s observation that “Those waitresses are somebody else’s little girls” is worth repeating.
We wouldn’t want any man ogling our daughters. No father would.
And that’s why eating at places like Hooters is a self-evidently bad idea.
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written by Christian, September 23, 2009
Why did you get the picture taken with the waitress? Do they know her? Relative, or friend of the family? Did she make their time so memorable through her good service that she helped to create a great bonding moment? Or is it simply that she is a cute young woman with a decent sized chest that your sons may have been oggling at. Or were you? seriously, who is the photo for, and what was its purpose? The simple FACT of the matter is that you went there with the idea of objectifying women, and demonstrating it to your son. Doesn’t matter that you see worse elsewhere (logical fallacy of poisoning the well). Doesn’t matter that ‘lots of other families do it so it must be fine (logical fallacy of appeal to numbers).’ It is just one more step, one more brick in the process of creating an idea for your son that women are objects to serve the pleasure of men — AND that there is a standard of beauty to which most women don’t measure up — including, possibly his future wife. You also just showed him to whatever degree that it is possible to lust after other women even when you are married. Being a father, being a Man requires you to have sexual integrity and dignity — something that our culture makes supremely difficult today. Ask yourself how you modeled integrity for your son today.
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written by BellaDaddy, September 23, 2009
WOW, comments here have made me think of what it must have been like back in the 50’s. Rock and Roll? Bikini’s at the beach?? Joy Rides??? Hip Grinding and Booty Shaking on TV? OH THE SCANDAL! As a father of a daughter, I take more pride in knowing I will have instilled in my girl the idea that people are differenmt. They make decisions for themselves. Be they good or bad, it is not our place to judge. I will love and nurture my child and hope she takes a path worthy. Whose worthy path? Her own!
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written by Peter Brown, September 23, 2009
Sorry, folks, I don’t buy the “there’s so much worse out there” line. There’s a huge difference between my kids running across some ad of a barely-dressed lingerie model and my choosing to take them to a restaurant that’s really not known for its food. The first one is just something they happened across; there are lots of things in the world that maybe aren’t all that smart morally, but we’re not going to live in some bubble because other folks make choices we don’t happen to agree with. (Hey, it’s diversity in action.) But the second one is my choice.
I also think waiting until a kid is 11 for the birds-and-the-bees talk is (bluntly put) nuts. My two older kids (my youngest is 4) had a pretty solid knowledge of the birds and the bees long before that. Not because we forced the knowledge on them, but because we answered the questions they asked. (We also tried—and still try—not to answer the questions they don’t ask, which gives them some real control over how much they want to know when.) If sex (and reproduction in general) is a subject that meets not with embarrassed silence but with respect as a gift and a part of life, it’s a whole lot easier to explain the facts of life in a context where relationships and commitment are integral to sex, not bolted-on afterthoughts.
FWIW.
Peace,
–Peter
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written by Keith Wilcox, September 23, 2009
Ok, I’ll say it, so glad you opened up this topic. I’ve taken my boys to hooters and they’re 6 and 5. People who say women are objectified by this are only partially correct. These women, as far as I can tell, enjoy their jobs. They’re not naked, just a big underdressed. Heck we’ve been there as a family, wife, me, kids. I don’t see a problem. The people I have a problem with are the folks who seem to think they are the gatekeepers of decency. I happen to think there is nothing indecent about Hooters. tacky? yes. Indecent? No. It’s a slightly tacky family restaurant and nobody’s getting hurt in any way. Lighten up, people.