For some reason I don’t understand, I am seeing a giant spike from people clicking today to read my two-week-old post about taking my son to Hooter’s (if you really want to see it, i’ll make it easy for you: here it is). That post was popular and controversial when I wrote it, but I have moved on to more interesting, substantial parenting topics. So if you are here to read about Hooter’s, great. And you are more than welcome to stick around and see what we have to say about instilling your kids with a work ethic and a capacity to save money, how to get your kids off the videogames, a link to a serious documentary about school children and racism. In addition, my favorite and most popular posts from the archives are listed on the right panel under “Greatest Hits You Might Have Missed.”
P.S. Can someone leave in the comment section what link you saw that led you to my blog today?
Since you asked us to leave the link we foudn this issue from, you will be amused to know there was a min-freak out over on the “Radical Feminist” forum known as “Genderberg”.
http://genderberg.com/boards/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=4229
It was that freak out which prompted my own recent post on the subject.
http://www.herdwatching.com/2010/03/28/taking-your-kid-to-hooters-is-a-problem-get-a-grip/
nice post soulhuntre. i agree with most of what you wrote, but in reading through the comments opposing my decision to take my son to Hooters I’d say roughly half of the opposition came from men.
I found your site while browsing the Internet. I am a survivor of the so-called ‘sex industry’ and as I pointed out in a previous post that was not published, I believe that Hooters has nothing to do with sex, but commercial sexual exploitation.
I’m the single parent of two sons and have obviously felt the need to teach them the difference between healthy sexuality and sexual exploitation and abuse. Hooters may be on the lower end of the scale as far as that is concerned, but sexual exploitation it is.
In my opinion, you’re teaching your sons that girls and women are there to be bought, sold and consumed like so much fast food, which is the central belief that keeps ‘the sex industry’ flourishing. I believe it’s not healthy to present it to your child as a simple bit of fun, because it’s exploitative and generally not fun for the women and girls who are in it. The long term physical and psychological effects of working in ‘the sex industry’ are well documented, and I am a living example.
I think we’d be wiser to encourage our sons to develop their social skills and personal friendships with girls. To learn to communicate and interact with them as human beings, not body parts, is the foundation for healthy sexuality. Equating our pornified culture with sex is the ultimate prudery in my opinion, because it indicates an inability and fear of engaging meaningfully with real human beings and real, natural, human sex.
Um, I got the ParentDish or whatever to the Hooters post link.
Anyway, it’s very mindboggling how some people just WON’T LET GO (!!!!!!) of stuff after like 2 weeks! So what you took your kid to hooters? You wanted to test him to see if it was the right time to talk about what happens after a long day of work, or at a honeymoon! It’s NATURAL! I think you really didn’t need Hooters as an excuse, just ask your kid! 🙂
Saw your link on http://www.fok.nl (dutch newssite!) love your writing style!
I saw your story on AOL news today. I applaud you – your reasons for taking him were valid, great experiment! You were accompanied by the friend’s father and his grandparents as well. The waitress is wearing a dark shirt, normally, I thought they were all white; the dark shirt is more subtle. I agree that he sees more on t.v. I see no problem in what you did – you sound like a great dad.
Hi! I actually heard about it on the local news radio station in Detroit! Crazyn huh? Anyway… I have a 21 and a 9 year old sons. I’m college educated, professionally employed, and am currently married (though I spent most of my older son’s life as a single parent). It sounds like your kids have a great dad. Don’t let the critics get you down!
Well, I saw this on cafemom, actually. In a group called Current Events and Hot Topics. You were mostly being skewered. I was going to join in, but thought I’d see what you were actually doing over here first. Good blog:)
I don’t go to Hooters- in fact, the Hooters here opened and closed in about two years time, but that type of thing isn’t really our scene-regardless of how the waitresses are dressed. And.. I’d probably be a little weirded out being there with my husband and our four boys (age 2-9).
Wendy, getting skewered ain’t such a big deal. It goes with the territory of being a blogger, and really is what having a blog is about. So skewer away.
Are you kidding me? You people sit in your Ivory towers and talk about what this father has done to his child!!! It’s a “FAMILY” restaurant I have a 9 year old son whom I have taken to hooters myself being his MOTHER and found nothing wrong with it. It didn’t seem to bother him. He was more into the food then anything else! Get off your high horse and get over it! S*it happens! That’s something he will remember for the rest of his life. He will look back and laugh I’m sure. No harm no foul. Whats the big deal? Kuddo’s to you “DAD” for taking him to have a good lunch and making a memory neither of you will forget. 🙂
Basically you are exposing you son to what you(his dad ) like.
The boys should have able to make their own choise at a proper age whether or not it was suitable for them to go to a place where it is definitly a place of temptation. (lust)
I see it as a very poor choise on your behalf to do this and add an EXCUSE to it.
Guess INTEGRITY has a new meaning…
Find a dictionary would ya!
I read your article in USAToday last week and wrote down your website to visit it and read more of your writing about parenting.
As the father of two young boys (5 & 2), I am always searching for wisdom. Your take on the visit to Hooters was reasonable to me, a 32 year old product of the sexification of America. I hope to be more forthright with my kids than my parents were with me.
thanks for coming and taking a look at my blog. I hope you find something here that might be of use to you.
The story was on Jezebel.
I saw your blog mentioned on a myspace update. I disagree with your stance. You mention you went to hooters to gauge your son’s reaction to sexuality, so you knew that this place was a sexually charged atmostphere. I mean the restaurant is named after girls boobs in a deragatory fasion, before you walk in the door women are already demeaned. Then they do things like pressure women to get bigger boobs, have you seen MTV’s Real Life episode? The bigger boobed girls get bigger tips. They are told to flirt and be innapropraite with men. Look at the way the hooters girls arms are draped over the boys like they’re old friends. Yeah right, would a waitress normally put her arm around two stranger’s boys like that if they asked for a pic? The whole establishment is demeaning to women, even down to the clothes they wear. Now imagine going to a Big Dong restaurant where guys wore tight low cut shorts where there Dong could be seen poking out, they flirted with girls there, the bigger penis’s got the bigger tips, I mean I am sure you can’t even imagine that. Men are so privilaged in our society that a very obvious place that degrates women with even it’s name is not even seen as something wrong because it is the norm to check out women sexually and view them as objects, after all it’s just a little more obvious at Hooters. But that this place even exists and that people go to it shows the degenrations of our society and a total disrespect for women as human being and that they’re just a pair of boobs attacted to a serving tray.
Dude, your post was in a link on fark.com. You’ve been “farked”
ouch
Good for you. Being a great father spending time with his son. And being involved in his life. Trying to develop our sons and daughters to know how to act and react in social situations can be very hard. I was raised very openly, with lots of freedom. My wife was raised very tightly, not being able to watch movies over PG rating all through high school. I see both sides of peoples thoughts. My parents and I are still very close, with me being 30, while my wife’s relationship is very distant with her parents. Based on my wife and I making decisions together, and our lives, we have decided to try to raise our son, 6, and daughter, 2, with responsibility and freedom. And we feel that keeping children closed to some of these places is not helping them. My son has been going to Hooters since he was 2 or 3. I actually love the food. Usually when I go so does the rest of the family. So good for you and your son. And keep up the good fathering.
you make a good point. this isn’t so much about hooters or no hooters, it is about being close and talking to your kids. if you do that, everything else falls into place. thanks for leaving your comment. -bob
Found your article on FARK.com.
My kids would have sat in the car, never would they let me take them to Hooters.
My three boys are all graduated from HS and two from college. My advise to parents is STOP GIVING THEM EVERYTHING THEY WANT FREELY, MAKE THEM EARN IT. I’ll continue to read your blog as I like it and I hope to have grand children some day. And, I may find out where we went so hopelessly wrong. Mary
I clicked your link from Fark.com. I hope you have great bandwidth availability. For the record, there is nothing wrong with what you did, though I feel sorry for your son in that he has such immature coaches. Boobs aren’t evil, in fact, I am guessing a lot of kids are on a really familiar basis with them. 😀
I don’t know why I am constantly suprised at how uptight today’s parents can get. What happened when these kids were growing up, that made them into judgmental, inflexible parents? Maybe they wouldn’t take their kids to Hooters, but why the anger? Why not read the story, and use it as a jumping off point for a discussion, or comtemplation on different methods of parenting. It is just a restaurant! I don’t feel anger toward the people who attacked you, just a bit of irony. I believe that their attidudes and prudishness are so much more harmful to their kids development than a trip to Hooters for lunch. The more opportunities you give your children to experience new things, investigate subjects and learn about life, while being kept safe and protected in the company of a loving family – the more informed, confident, and capable they will be when it comes to making choices on their own later. Bravo to you and your family! I know your children and they all have a reputation for being honest, polite and genuinely nice kids. I wish more extended families could or would gather together to raise their children in the kind of life you have given to yours. I will read your blog regularly and continue to be astounded at how well the bunch of you “do life”!
I had one of the coaches from our youth football team email me a copy of the article. This was very interesting as the coaches from our team made a deal with the boys that if they won against the 1st place team they would all get to take a road trip to Hooters. (1hour away) As it turned out they did not get to go, but it was just interesting to see how people reacted to your story. I think people need to realize children these days are exposed to much more than we were at the same age. It is best to be open with your children so they will come to you rather than just go on what they hear. I see nothing wrong with taking 11 year old boys to Hooters, come on people.
Hello — despite your arguements to contrary and despite your son’s seeming (and no doubt temporary) distaste for the breast place, I am still in the camp of absoute opposition. It’s absurd beyond words to think you have to tell an 11 year old boy OR GIRL about boobs in america. They are as common as fast food and pollution. EVERYwhere – tv, sitcoms, CNN, billboards, all magazines, internet, movies, even G rated….unless your child is blind, deaf and retarded, he/she KNOWS all about the female body way before age 11. I have raised one son and helped raise two stepsons, raised a daughter, helped with a step daughter. OH OH you, blogger, – have any daughters? ARe they signed up to be hooters girls ?? as soon as their little buds burst out? Want your daughter’s income to depend on being nice to drunken louts who can verbally abuse them or touch them? Why not ?? Don’t waitresses exist to educate and thrill your son and his friends?
The whole thing is stupid that it’s difficult to understand how you don’t get it.
How are you going to “tell” him about drugs? Take him to work for a day in a meth lab?
Good for you…I think it is nice that you are spending time with your son. Most parents hand their kids off to someone else and expect them to raise them. He’s going to remember his dad took him to lunch and he had a great time.